He glanced at her, frowning at the question. Now it was his turn to be surprised. She\'d asked him once and he\'d refused, so he believed she\'d go to his sire in his stead. He knew that hadn\'t happened, because his promise of bringing Ben around to visit with Sawyl and the twins regularly had never been invoked (and he could only wonder how such a thing would go now, considering his tenuous relationship with both his sire and fledgling... they might even get on, who knew?). Now she was asking him again, obviously feeling the way was clear because time and circumstances had changed.
The thing was, even if he and Ben weren\'t together, they\'d always be sire and fledgling, they\'d always be bonded, and he\'d always love the blonde like he\'d never loved anything or anyone before. These facts were undeniable and truths that couldn\'t be changed no matter how much time passed them by. He didn\'t think he could ever turn his back on Ben and sire Mandy, unless he had his fledgling\'s express permission. Part of him wanted to help her out, to repay his debt for her sacrifices by altering her life as she wished it altered - fuck, if he owed anyone, it was definitely Mandy! - but he couldn\'t bring himself to do it.
It would fly right in Ben\'s face and, yet again, he was more intent on favouring his lover than his prior almost-lover. If he and Mandy had consummated their relationship, it might have been different, she would have the greater claim, but it wasn\'t and she didn\'t. He loved her as a very dear friend, for her loyalty and support, for her humour and her intelligence, but he was only in love with Ben. How to say that to her without breaking her heart anew, though? In this, he could only contemplate the truth.
"If time were on my side and things were different... if I could allow time to pass between Ben and I so that our bond wasn\'t so... strong... I would. I really would," he told her sincerely, squeezing her hand and walking slightly closer to her, his pace slowing with the importance of his message. "I certainly owe you that. But the problem is... you don\'t have the ability or desire to wait until such a time would come to pass, which defeats the purpose, so, no, I really don\'t have the ability to consider it right now, unfortunately," he told her apologetically. "And if not right now, then... never."