Author Topic: Second Time Around  (Read 20841 times)

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Offline pinkroses

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Re: Second Time Around
« Reply #15 on: October 18, 2011, 07:43:27 AM »
Oh,” Ichabod said quietly, glancing up at the ceiling, wondering if Ash ever tried sensing if he was here, or trying to contact him and he’d just missed it. Probably not, it wasn’t like they’re become best friends, although Ichabod wouldn’t mind some more time with him to just… have a friend.

He was still gazing upwards thoughtfully when Kerr suddenly grabbed him and Ichabod gave a yelp of surprise as he was pulled down beside Kerr, but he quickly got over the start and snuggled against Kerr, his face finding the crook in his sire’s neck and his legs weaving through Kerr’s to entwine them top to toe.

“I’m not rejecting you, you’re all I want all the time,” Ichabod murmured, squeezing Kerr tightly as he heard the pain in Kerr’s voice and felt it flowing through their blood.

“I thought, if I could stop feeling like this, it would solve everything. Me and Ben would get on better, I wouldn’t hate him for having you when I can’t and he wouldn’t think we couldn’t be around each other without him being there. I thought that was what you wanted,” he said, drawing his face away slightly so he could look at Kerr properly. He lifted a hand from around Kerr’s body to cup his face, his eyes red from the threat of tears which he thought he was doing a pretty good job of keeping back since Kerr was so close to them too.

“That would be easier,” he said softly, wishing that wasn’t the case. But it might not make them happier either. Kerr wanted him there, he loved him, and Ichabod couldn’t imagine feeling like this about anyone else. Anyone else he was with, it wouldn’t be the same.

“But I am happy with you, just like this. This makes me happy,” he added with a small smile, before pressing a kiss to the corner of Kerr’s lips. If only they could skip the threesome part, and get straight to Ben being comfortable with them being together. But even if they all agreed to the threesome and it worked, and they did it every week, every night, how long would it be before Ben gave them permission to be together without them? A few months? A few years? Decades? There was no telling.

Offline Existentially Odd

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Re: Second Time Around
« Reply #16 on: October 18, 2011, 11:09:31 PM »
The kiss was tiny, a drop in the ocean of emotions the two of them were swimming in, but it seemed the key, to Kerr.  Everything Ichabod was saying, everything with Ben was about just this tiny little action.  Something insignificant, yet extraordinary.  He turned his head so that his lips were pressed hard against his fledgling\'s, wanting so badly to deepen it, to throw caution to the wind and just kiss Cub properly, with the abandon he showed to Ben, but he couldn\'t.

It wasn\'t in him to be so deceptive, especially with Ichabod speaking of being happy with nothing.  It would be ridiculous to push for more if this was what the fledgling was content with, however...

"If this makes you happy, then this is what you\'ll have," Kerr told him fiercely, finally pulling back so that he was nose to nose with Ichabod.  His eyes glittered with unshed tears and his voice vibrated with passion as he continued, explaining his bewilderment.  His gaze darted from one of Ichabod\'s eyes to the other, gauging his reaction as he spoke, wanting to know what his fledgling was thinking almost the instant it happened.

"Only this and nothing more, yet...  I want more with you; Ben understands that, it\'s why he offers it to me, just... with conditions.  I don\'t understand his conditions properly - it\'s okay if I have sex with mortals that I drink from but not you?  I know it\'s because I love you and you\'re not meaningless or simply someone I lust after but... isn\'t sex, sex?  No matter who it\'s with?  Isn\'t sharing your body the sacrilege, so it shouldn\'t happen with anyone but the one you\'re committed to?" he asked urgently, gripping Cub tightly as he voiced his personal confusions.

Offline pinkroses

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Re: Second Time Around
« Reply #17 on: October 19, 2011, 06:30:39 AM »
Nothing more. Nothing. It sounded so final when Kerr said it, but it was what Ichabod had been content with for two years before everything seemed to get too much. Ichabod couldn’t hide the look of disappoinment in his eyes, at the thought of nothing more, but this was better than nothing at all. He felt at peace when he was like this with Kerr, their bodies pressed together and when they could just be together without all this drama he felt at peace in a way he couldn’t when they were apart.

He frowned slightly as Kerr went on, Ben let him sleep with people he drank from? Ichabod hadn’t realised that - maybe it had been implied somewhere with what Ben had said, but Ichabod had only really thought of him being with Ben, and he’d got used to that idea a long time ago. That made no sense to him at all, any more than it did to Kerr.

He wanted to ask if Kerr had actually slept with any of them, but he knew that didn’t matter. He didn’t like the idea but making Kerr feel bad about it wouldn’t help at all or change anything.

Ichabod took in a deep breath and shut his eyes for a moment, trying to straighten out his thoughts and figure out what they needed, but he was coming up with blanks. There was really only one thing they could do that he could see and his black eyes opened again as he spoke.

“His conditions, that we can only be together as part of a threesome with him, until he’s happy for us to be alone together… maybe it’ll take longer if we don’t all do it together, but he might still be comfortable with it… one day. And we’ve managed two years and we have so much time. I don’t want to wait until he says so. But we could,” he said slowly. Ichabod wanted to try to help explain Ben’s reasons but he couldn’t either, and voicing how ridiculous he thought it sounded would only put himself in a negative light really. And besides, if he could have Kerr all to himself, he wouldn’t want to share him either, with another vampire or humans he didn’t care about.

A fleeting thought crossed his mind so quickly he wasn’t even sure if Kerr had heard it, but the guilty look on his face would have let Kerr know there was something.

Or they do say it’s easier to ask forgiveness than permission.

Offline Existentially Odd

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Re: Second Time Around
« Reply #18 on: October 19, 2011, 07:30:32 AM »
A shot of lust - never far from the surface, despite his intention to have it thus by fucking Ben before he came - ran through him and he was momentarily startled enough by Ichabod\'s uncharacteristically wicked insinuations as to boggle at him.  He blinked and came out of it well enough, half smiling and giving his fledgling a wry look as his hands automatically roved over his back.

"Bloody hell, you\'re as bad as Ben with your cheeky little suggestions," he said with a little laugh, pulling back from Cub slightly and finding his gaze upon the lips he\'d kissed not so long ago.  "Temptation will be the death of me," he mused, his tone infused with irony, for he wouldn\'t mind... managing to look upward at last, his gaze met Ichabod\'s, the electricity of it tingling through him subtly.  "You\'re not really happy with just this, are you?" he asked bluntly, disbelieving someone who suggested they just throw caution to the wind in such a manner was content with no contact.  "But you can\'t bring yourself to fuck Ben because... you\'re too jealous of him?  Or you don\'t find him attractive?  Or your past is too much to overcome?" Kerr gave his guesses in quick succession, looking curiously at Ichabod.

He really, really wanted to change his fledge\'s mind, but he needed to understand it properly first.

Offline pinkroses

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Re: Second Time Around
« Reply #19 on: October 19, 2011, 07:59:16 AM »
Ichabod’s cheeks flushed pink at the look of disbelief his sire gave him, then his gaze flickered downwards as he was told again that he was like Ben. Were they really so alike? It would be better if people said how different they were, then he could come up with more reasons why Kerr loved him but was in love with his brother.

“When we’re like this I’m happy,” Ichabod protested slightly, “But then I want to kiss you again, and I know I can’t. And you leave, and I know I can’t even just do this whenever I want to,” he said quietly, his voice wavering as he spoke, but he swallowed down the lump in his throat painfully as he tried to think how to word his reply as to how he felt about Ben.

“What he did before, that’s so long ago, and I think I have forgiven him for all that. It wasn’t even really him. But I don’t like who he is now so much of the time. I don’t feel comfortable around him and I always feel like I’m going to say something wrong with him. And yes, I’m jealous and yes, he’s attractive, everyone thinks so, he’s a model for God’s sake. But if I fucked him, just to get to you, I’d be a hypocrite. It would be like… I don’t even know.” Ben would know. He’d come up with a metaphor that would fit perfectly.

“And I don’t know why this is one of his conditions. I’m sure he doesn’t want to fuck me. He’s never shown any interest in me that way before,” he added, pouting slightly as he focused on the collar of Kerr’s t-shirt, fiddling with it lightly to give him an excuse not to look up at Kerr. He didn’t want to say all this again, Kerr just seemed to get angry when he said why he didn’t like Ben, or said he didn’t feel comfortable around him. It was proof he wasn’t trying hard enough to like the blonde. But Kerr was asking and Ichabod was trying to be as truthful as possible.

"Do you really want me to screw someone I can barely have a conversation with?" he asked quietly. If Kerr said yes and really wanted all three of them together, Ichabod knew he would try. He might not be able to talk to Ben before or look him in the eye during the event, but he would do it if Kerr really asked him to.

Offline Existentially Odd

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Re: Second Time Around
« Reply #20 on: October 19, 2011, 10:38:47 AM »
"No, not if you feel like that," Kerr said quietly.  Despite battling disappointment yet again, he could see Ichabod\'s point clearly and knew it would be wrong to press, and his tone was kind, if demure.
 
Summoning a small smile, he tried to pay Ichabod a compliment.  "I love being with you, too, even if it can\'t be... physical.  It\'s one of Ben\'s conditions for a very simple reason, really; he\'s afraid of losing me to you.  He is jealous of you, I think, and it\'s part of why he\'s trying so hard to please me.  To make up for our imperfect past and try to get to the peace you and I have, perhaps?"
 
It was a guess, but everything Ichabod had said earlier - about Ben choosing him as backup - also alluded to it, he thought.

Offline pinkroses

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Re: Second Time Around
« Reply #21 on: October 19, 2011, 04:41:31 PM »
Ichabod found it hard to believe anyone could be jealous of him, no one ever had been before, but he tried to understand it and gave a small nod. It must be hard for the blonde, having someone Kerr loved so much a part of his life. And he guessed he should be grateful Ben had ever let him be, even though he had his reasons.

His gaze flickered up to meet Kerr’s again, watching him quietly for a moment. He’d felt the disappointment in Kerr and hated that he was upsetting him so much. Kerr was right, he was selfish and spoilt and acted like a child when things didn’t go his way.

Ichabod propped himself up on one elbow so he could look down on Kerr and see him properly, chewing his lower lips for a moment before he spoke.

“You want us to do the threesome, and Ben does too. So… I could do it for you, because that’s what you want and I want us to be together too when we‘re allowed. So we should,” he said, leaning down to give Kerr a soft kiss, “I want you to be happy too. And you’re not, but you could be,” because it’s my fault and I can fix it for you.

Offline Existentially Odd

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Re: Second Time Around
« Reply #22 on: October 19, 2011, 06:48:24 PM »
Kerr was beginning to get hypothetically dizzy with all the chopping and changing that was going on.  He settled back onto the pillow so he could gaze up at Ichabod squarely, his expression perplexed.

"But... a minute ago you were adamant that Ben was too unlikeable and intimidating and you\'d be a hypocrite?" he queried wonderingly.  "Now... you will do it, even though I\'m happy for you to not to and us just keep the status quo?"

Although he was somewhat confused, his tone was gentle because he really did want Ichabod to make his own decision.  He bullied him into far too much and as much as he might want a chance to properly be with him - sans deception - he didn\'t want it to come at the cost of his fledgling\'s self-respect.

Offline pinkroses

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Re: Second Time Around
« Reply #23 on: October 19, 2011, 10:23:40 PM »
"I know I said that. And it\'s true, but I\'ve been selfish and just thinking about me. I love you and I want you to be happy. You\'re always trying to do what I want, but if this will make you happier than just staying as we are... If you say you want to do it, I will," he said, hoping he was making himself clear.

"I don\'t want you just saying you\'re happy when you\'re not and I know you\'re not completely happy with just leaving it," Ichabod added. He and Ben had made a mess of things for Kerr and if this would make it better, even if it made Ichabod himself feel awkward, he would go through with it. He was hoping Kerr would say he didn\'t need to, but that was surely obvious to Kerr and it didn\'t need saying.

Offline Existentially Odd

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Re: Second Time Around
« Reply #24 on: October 19, 2011, 10:57:58 PM »
Kerr mused on it for a while, not answering straight away as his gaze roved over Cub\'s face, remembering what it had been like to have sex with him those years ago... what it had been like to play with him mentally more recently.  He was still physically attracted to his youngest fledgling, there was no denying it, but the fact that they were debating everything and going back and forth so much... it didn\'t feel right.

Ben didn\'t want anything to happen with Ichabod unless he\'d strayed elsewhere first - to lessen Cub\'s importance - so Kerr was obligated to concede that as it was.  There was time to let this settle, to think on it, to allow Ben and Ichabod a few more visits and fights yet, before anything certain happened.  He found it odd that he was wishing that Ben would continue to be his usual bold self and perhaps convince Ichabod to do something sexual with him, to initiate some sort of contact that would make everything easier, but he couldn\'t see it happening any time soon.

"What I am happy to do is wait," Kerr finally decided, giving Cub a reassuring smile and leaning up to kiss him gently.  "I think it\'s best we agree nothing will proceed for now except you and Ben continuing to try to come to terms with one another and you and I having our Wednesday night training and sleepover sessions," he announced as he lowered his head back to the pillow and gazed up at his fledge in a slightly more business-like manner.  "Speaking of which, we should probably stop all this emotional nonsense and get to work!"

It wasn\'t a decision made, really, but he hoped it would alleviate tension and allow them to concentrate for now.  The rest... would just have to come in time.  They had plenty of it, after all.

Offline pinkroses

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Re: Second Time Around
« Reply #25 on: October 20, 2011, 06:57:32 AM »
Ichabod felt himself relax as Kerr said he was happy to wait after giving it some proper thought. Waiting was ok, he could do that. It was harder sometimes than others, but he knew he could do it. His eyes slid shut for a few seconds at Kerr’s kiss and there was a smile on his lips as they parted.

That smile faltered slightly as Kerr declared he and Ben should continue their weekly meetings without actually saying it, but he quickly put it back into its place. He’d hoped that could stop, he wished they’d never started, but Kerr wanted it to go on and so it would. He had no idea what to do when Ben was here though. He couldn’t work, he couldn’t just play computer games. They couldn’t talk without getting at each others throats and he definitely wasn’t going to start fucking the blonde and or ever drink from him again.

“Ok, to work,” Ichabod said, focusing on that instead of Ben and moving into a sitting up position again, keeping contact with Kerr though by having his knees pressed up against him. He was always a keen learner, although sometimes it took him a little longer to perfect things than it did his brother. As they began Ichabod excitedly told Kerr how he’d managed to influence a human to leave Risk (probably) and a few of the other tricks he been practising whilst he’d been feeding. He wasn’t going to dwell on the bad, just the good  for the rest of the night. He had Kerr for now and that would have to do.

Offline Malkavian Riddler

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Re: Second Time Around
« Reply #26 on: October 20, 2011, 10:24:13 AM »
Ash had been mesmerised by a rather pretty picture on the back of a business card, which belonged to a little antique shop downtown.  Antiques weren\'t really his thing, but on the off-chance that he might spot Kerr browsing in one of them, he\'d scoured a few places whenever he came across one.  Dangerously, one of the business cards had a lovely piece of artwork of ballerinas, painted in impressionism.  He hadn\'t even realised that there was a picture on the card, for it had been scrolling writing upon a plain burgundy background when he\'d grabbed it, a few numbers declaring phone and fax, and no email or website.  If he\'d flipped it over he would\'ve seen the painting printed on it, but he\'d just pocketed it.

Now, he was standing completely still in his bedroom, after having taken out the business card from his shirt pocket, intending to shove it in his laundry hamper, and spied the picture.  Instead of throwing it down quickly, like he should\'ve done, he\'d looked at it.  He\'d been so enchanted by its loveliness that he\'d been drawn into it, studying brush strokes, gazing upon the pretty faces of the ballerinas that looked blurry thanks to the artist style, and had to wonder at the beauty within the artist\'s mind.  He\'d already been captivated for over an hour, and it was only when a seeking mind touched his own that broke him out of the reverie enough for him to scrunch up the card in his hand and break the spell that had come over him.

Kerr? he asked mentally, recognising the seeking mind but it had been so long that he couldn\'t trust what he thought he\'d felt - but something had broken him out of his trance.  He felt it again, more firmly this time, and yes, it was Kerr greeting him, letting him know he was downstairs.  Ash was spurred into action.

He grabbed a tee-shirt out of the top drawer and threw it on, uncaring if the dark blue looked bland alongside his dark jeans, which were fraying at the heel.  He didn\'t bother with shoes, but did stop in front of the mirror on his way to the front door, in order to mess with his hair.

The lift came almost immediately, as it was still waiting on the floor below his own after it had dropped Kerr off.  It couldn\'t come fast enough for Ash, who scampered into it and jabbed the button for the floor below several times, as well as the button to close the doors.

When the lift opened again, he hurried out and strode to the door of Ichabod\'s apartment, trying the knob and pleased when it turned and opened for him.  He didn\'t know that Kerr had let himself in with his key and closed the door behind him without specifically locking it, figuring Ichabod had been the one to let Kerr in and then forgotten to flick the lock instead.

He shut the door behind himself and did a hasty search of the apartment, striding around and glancing in rooms before ending up in the doorway of the bedroom that Kerr and Ichabod were lying in.  Grinning manically, he leant against the doorframe and stared at the couple.

"How come you haven\'t come to visit, asshole?" he said in a friendly manner, but there was a bitter undercurrent to his words.
Digital: I drink from the poison chalice
Lan Bao: I reap the harvest of my people
Cain: I am the instrument that vampires play
Shan: I take what is mine and what is yours

Offline Existentially Odd

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Re: Second Time Around
« Reply #27 on: October 20, 2011, 11:23:52 PM »
Upon hearing the door to the apartment open and close, Kerr had interrupted Ichabod\'s latest bit of information in order to ask if he remembered him locking the door.  By the time he\'d got his fledgling\'s response, Ash was in the doorway to the bedroom and having a go at him.  Lazily, the Irishman - who was once again leaning his head on his hand while he gazed up at Cub, curled against him - rolled onto his back and rested upon both elbows, looking down his body towards the intruder.

As enthusiastic as his smile was, Kerr detected genuine resentment in Ash\'s tone, for he knew him well enough.  He actually was peeved that Kerr hadn\'t managed to find time to see him in the past two years and, looking at his dear face once more, Kerr was equally as chagrined - though he had tried.  He\'d been to the Capital a few times and tried to visit Ash (even on the night he\'d last visited with Halwyn), only to find him not at home each of the six or seven times he\'d come knocking.  Well, maybe five times.  At least four, anyway.

"I have, bitch.  How come you\'re never fucking home when I do?" he retorted, a grin growing on his face and his eyes lighting up with pleasure.  "Get the fuck over here," he demanded, the fingers he had tucked in near his hips curling out to beckon Ash over to the bed to join he and Ichabod.  There was just room for him to curl up beside Kerr if he wished to lay down, or plenty more if he was willing to share Ichabod\'s side, for his fledge was still sitting up.  Kerr suspected neither polite option would be utilised, however, and tingled with the anticipation of much more obvious contact with his old friend and lover.

Offline pinkroses

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Re: Second Time Around
« Reply #28 on: October 21, 2011, 06:30:28 AM »
“No,” Ichabod murmured, Kerr definitely hadn’t locked the door, he’d had his fledgling wrapped around his neck. The wary look disappeared at the sight of Ash though and he gave a smile at the other vampire - although he got the feeling tonight not much training was going to get done. It didn’t even occur to him to be annoyed that the movie star had just wandered in without knocking an dhe could feel the delight tingling through his bond with Kerr.

His black eyes flickered between the two, suddenly feeling like he was intruding on a reunion he wasn’t a part of and wondering if he should leave them alone to catch up.

Offline Malkavian Riddler

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Re: Second Time Around
« Reply #29 on: October 21, 2011, 12:08:04 PM »
Ash stared at Kerr, musing the demand.  Being invited to join the pair on the bed looked cosy and fun, but he glanced at Ichabod to see the youngest vampire who was watching them both and looking uncomfortable.  Nothing had been said about the way he\'d barged in on them, but he liked Ichabod enough not to barge in further.

"I own a cellphone, dickhead," he replied, then moved off the doorframe and considered retreating back to the lounge without a word before changing his mind.  "Don\'t mind me, I\'ll wait.  I\'ve been waiting for years already, another hour or so won\'t hurt," he sneered, but his eyes gave away their good humour.  He knew Kerr would read him okay, and he could always speak with him mentally if he didn\'t.

Ash made himself scarce, giving Ichabod the space he figured he wanted with his sire.  He liked the kid, sure, but not so much that he was going to sacrifice his chance at reuniting with his best friend in this boring fucking city.

He dropped himself on the sofa after finding the remote and turned on the television, flicking through channels before landing on Nascar.
Digital: I drink from the poison chalice
Lan Bao: I reap the harvest of my people
Cain: I am the instrument that vampires play
Shan: I take what is mine and what is yours