Losing the Knack

[pinkroses]

((Reserved))

There was only the tiniest sliver of a moon tonight and that was barely visible in the sky due to the heavy layer of clouds which hung over the city. There was the threat of rain in the air, but Ichabod hadn’t been thinking about that when he had left the apartment and so he was wearing just a simple t-shirt with his jeans and a worn out pair of red converse. He hadn’t been planning on going out tonight, he hadn’t gone anywhere interesting or different for so long it felt like, so why change now? He didn’t want to go anywhere or see anyone. Not like Ben setting up his Academy, managing to get himself back into the world – to Ichabod it felt like Ben had managed it far too easily, it just wasn’t fair. A part of him wished that he could go to Ben, to ask to hear more about the Academy – the vague idea of it had sounded good but Ichabod had been hesitant about throwing money at someone he didn’t trust and now it was too late. Ben wanted nothing to do with him.

In an attempt to get back into some sort of routine and get his mind off to things which were plaguing him, Ichabod had decided he needed to get back into his training. But with no one to help him, to give him tips or even guidance of where to start he felt lost. It was like he’d taken three steps backwards and it was so frustrating. He didn’t have anyone to practise his mental abilities with other than picking on mortals and at the moment he wasn’t confident enough to be able to that despite doing it hundreds of times before. Telekinesis had been a loss as well – he’d been able to move buttons, pebbles, marbles, even small books in the past – but now… well now there was a dent in one of the walls of the apartment where a marble had become lodged into it when Ichabod had thrown it in a rage.

The young vampire was no sat on the grass of the park, holding his head in his hands as he scowled at a small rock on the ground, willing it to move, but nothing was happening other than wearing himself out. He could feel himself getting hungry and new he would have to stop and feed soon. But he didn’t want to give up without even making it wobble.

His head jerked upright as the sound of footsteps on the ground nearby interrupted his thoughts and Ichabod twisted his body, placing a hand on the ground behind him to steady himself as he looked to see who was nearby. Maybe he could stop, just for a minute. Maybe feeding would help him focus. It was definitely a human approaching, he could hear the pounding of their heart even from here.

Come closer, Ichabod ordered firmly, trying to keep the lack of confidence from his mental instruction . A little practise at his mental skills would be useful as well, although he didn’t know how effective he would be now, even with the simplest thing.

[Existentially Odd]

James Cooper was on his way home from a late afternoon study session in the Municipal Library that had gone a little long.  He was nineteen and still lived at home with his parents and younger brother - in a four bedroom apartment in The Templar - but he'd called to say he'd be late and he'd pick some food up on the way home so they weren't expecting him yet.  What he'd buy was exactly what he was thinking about when the urge to veer off the path he'd been following struck him and he headed across the grass instead.

He was still debating what would be healthy versus what he felt like getting right then when he suddenly found himself stopped in front of a guy sitting on the grass.  A very cute guy but one he didn't know.  James frowned, glancing around himself at a whole lot of empty space before looking down at the guy again.  "Uh, sorry," he said uncertainly, baffled as to how and why he'd come here and just stopped like an idiot.

Awkwardly, he hefted the backpack that was slung over his left shoulder and slid his right hand into the front pocket of his jeans, where his phone was.  He and the stranger weren't dressed too differently; James was wearing sneakers, jeans and a T-shirt but he had an untucked pale green button up shirt over the top of it (the bottom few buttons done up over his flat stomach) and a black pea coat over that (undone), because the air was still cold after the sun went down.  He stood six foot tall but the old-fashioned coat made him look taller because it fell to his thighs.

James was studying to be a lawyer and he was known for talking a lot and talking fast but, somehow, he was suddenly lost for words at that moment as he stared down at the handsome guy at his feet.

[pinkroses]

Well, obviously his mental abilities hadn’t completely disappeared, unless his target had by coincidence just fancied wandering this way. That didn’t seem likely though, especially judging by the look of confusion on the kid’s face. That uncertainty in his eyes was pretty cute and boosted Ichabod confidence, if only by a tiny amount. So he couldn’t move a marble or even a nickel. It would come back… eventually.

“No need to apologise,” Ichabod replied, unable to help his gaze from drifting over the human’s body in front of him and doing it quite obviously as it was difficult to hide from the position he was in. Realising he might look a little foolish sat in the middle of the grass like he was Ichabod suddenly moved to his feet, feeling ungraceful as he shoved himself upright but travelling fast enough that to the human it might not have looked as awkward as it felt to Ichabod. He titled his head to one side slightly as he eyed up the heavy looking rucksack, then returned his gaze to meet the teenager’s as he wiped any stray pieces of grass from his palms onto his jeans. Now he was standing Ichabod could tell he was a little shorter than the stranger, but not by much. A hint of a smile made Ichabod’s lips twitch slightly as he took in the figure before him, but it didn’t quite light up his face.

“You don’t have anywhere you need to be in a hurry, do you?” he asked, taking half a step forwards as he mentally willed the boy to say ‘no’. Although feeding wouldn’t take too long Ichabod always felt like he was disturbing people’s lives, he was intruding and stealing a few minutes which might make all the difference to someone’s day if they were already running late for something. Of course it was cheating slightly trying to get him to say ‘no’ when it might not be true, but Ichabod knew it would make him feel a little better about it at least.

[Existentially Odd]

"No, I was just going to get some food and go home, nothing pressing," James answered obligingly, still frowning because he seemed to be talking but what he was saying didn't seem to be being filtered through his brain first.  This was a most unusual occurrence for him, for he always carefully weighed what he was going to say in unusual circumstances, perpetually prepared for some form of litigation.  He was surprising himself now, though, because he was just talking to this guy and watching him get a little closer.

Danger was always a possibility when travelling anywhere at night and through a park?  Well, that was just asking for trouble if you weren't careful but James didn't feel threatened, for some reason.  Perhaps it was because the guy was shorter than him, though he didn't look scrawny by any means.  In fact, his T-shirt was pulled quite nicely across his chest and his physique was only slightly less developed than James' (though if this guy did as many sessions a week at the gym as he did, James believed he'd bulk up and match him in no time).  Maybe it was just because he was cute and dressed so minimally that James didn't think he could possibly be a danger.

Whatever it was, he stood there placidly, looking the guy over and thinking that maybe he was about to have some sort of fantasy interlude with a hot guy in a park.  It was the stuff all the good porn he watched was made of.  Perhaps it could really happen to him!

[pinkroses]

“Good, I was hoping you’d say that,” Ichabod replied with a smile which was meant to be reassuring but he couldn’t quite put his all into it. This stranger was cute, well-built and if he’d been thinking more along those lines the kind of attractive that would have made Ichabod start to stammer and lose what he wanted to say. But despite trying to find someone to distract him from Kerr being with Ben several times, it really had been a long time since anyone had made Ichabod feel like that. No one had been a good enough replacement for who he’d really wanted and since Kerr had gone Ichabod hadn’t even thought about looking anymore.

No, as handsome as this guy was, Ichabod wasn’t focusing on that. Of course, he would have had to have been blind not to see it, but it just didn’t seem to matter other than Ichabod’s earlier appreciative glance when the human had almost stumbled over him. Ichabod was just hungry right now and his mentioning food only reminded Ichabod of that. Normally he kept plenty of blood in the apartment and other than when he woke up he was rarely this ravenous, and there was a fridgeful there at the moment, but he’d been putting so much effort in and getting nowhere tonight, it felt like he’d used up any reserves banging his head against a brick wall. He’d been trained well enough to keep his head when it got this bad though.

With a smooth movement Ichabod closed the distance between them, lifting his left hand to run along the human’s throat, brushing lightly over that thumping pulse, before coming to rest on back of his warm neck. Ichabod had brushed the collar of the teenager’s shirt and coat back out of the way as he caressed his skin, mentally sending calm feelings to his donor. Ichabod didn’t want him to struggle and get hurt, and thinking about that his hand moved slightly to touch the strap of the rucksack hoisted over the boy’s shoulder, slipping it off and lowering it carefully to the ground, willing him not to protest.

“You’re gonna be fine, it’s all fine,” Ichabod murmured before his lips found his human’s throat, repeating outloud the mantra he’d been trying to convince himself of for what felt like an age. Fine, it would all be fine. Fine was all he needed to get by. Ichabod forced himself to focus and savour the heat coming from the guy as his lips drifted over his skin and their bodied pressed together. His right hand found the boy’s hips and he felt him firmly in place, his grip tightening a little as he finally bit.

It wasn’t deep, but the rush of heat hitting his tongue was an instant pleasure. Ichabod made himself go out and drink from people occasionally but it had just been so much easier to sit at home and drink from bottles and cartons. That was nothing compared to this delicious thrill, which was the only pleasure Ichabod seemed to be able to find nowadays.

[Existentially Odd]

James smiled as the guy pressed in close to him, his heart kicking up a faster rhythm as his throat was kissed.  A funny thing happened after that, though, he felt a sharp sting and then everything was just warm and lovely.  He didn't reach out to touch, even though his mind was telling him something maybe a little sexy was coming and although there were tingles of arousal flickering through his body, it was subdued, like water beneath a pool cover.  The plastic was clear and it was easy to see the water but he couldn't quite connect with those feelings, he was just floating and in limbo, waiting for... something.  He didn't know what, but he sighed a frustrated, wanting sort of sigh and just stared off into the darkness, not nearly as alarmed about all this as he thought he probably should be... but he wasn't even sure why he thought that, either.

[pinkroses]

Ichabod all but ignored the sigh, focusing just on feeding and pleased that he didn’t need to deal with a writhing mess in his arms, pawing at him whilst he was trying to drink. He’d loved it when he had been human, that amazing warmth and arousal and feeding had usually lead to sex – but now when he just wanted to feed and a human was trying for more it just felt awkward to Ichabod.

So he kept his light hold on the boy’s mind going, sending that calmness as he drank, then left it there as he finished and bit his lip to heal his throat. Ichabod lapped gently at the healed skin, cleaning up any stray traces of blood before he released his mental hold on the teenager. He didn’t step back though. Ichabod stayed close to the boy, his cheek resting lightly against the boy’s and his hand still resting on the back of his neck.

He hadn’t drunk as much as he could have – just enough to see him through until he got home and had more. He wasn’t planning on training more tonight, it was too frustrating. He was satisfied for now as the sharp edge to his hunger was gone – but mentally there was none of the satisfaction and peace he’d used to feel. Ichabod felt the sharp prick of tears behind his eyes but squeezed his eyes shut for a few seconds to get rid of them. It would get back to normal, everything would be fine.

“What’s your name?” he asked, lifting his head to look properly at the boy. He knew he should just leave, but it was the first question which popped into his head to distract him from that hollow feeling in his chest.

[Existentially Odd]

"James Cooper," he blinked, answering obediently with his full name before he thought about it.  He frowned then, suddenly realising how close they were standing, how he was being held like he was about to be kissed and a vague memory of his throat being... had it been kissed already?  It was so strange, his mind felt a little foggy but he could've sworn it had been, which freaked him out, yet he felt... relaxed.  Except for the fact that a gorgeous guy was about to kiss him, of course, but his heart was already skipping along and couldn't get much faster with this new shot of awareness.

"Who are you?  And what are you doing sitting in the middle of the park at this hour?" he queried bluntly, fighting the urge to fidget because if he reached down to pick up his backpack, he'd as likely headbutt the guy in the face.  How did his backpack get down on the ground anyway?  Nervously, his tongue snuck out to wet his lips but then he realised how that might look and he blushed as his gaze automatically fell to the cute guy's mouth.  His thoughts were connecting properly now, though most of them started with 'what the fuck' and ended with 'I must be crazy!' at this stage, so they were no great assistance in resolving the situation; he felt almost like he was free-falling despite standing squarely on the ground.

[pinkroses]

Ichabod gave a soft smile as James gave his name. James, it was nice, normal, safe. He looked to the side over his shoulder as James asked why he had been sat on the grass and gave a small shrug as his gaze turned back towards his companion just in time to catch James wetting his lips and the glance at his own lips. Realising he was still holding James close Ichabod took a half step backwards, letting his hands drop away from James’ body, instantly lamenting the loss of that heat.

“My name’s Ichabod… Conners,” he said, adding his surname as an afterthought as James had done so. It seemed rude not to, although with a name like his it was unlikely he’d need a surname to be identified to most people.

“I was struck by a case of cabin fever. I couldn’t think at home, I thought coming out here would help,” he explained vaguely without going into the details of exactly what he’d been thinking about. Telling a human he’d been trying to make rocks move with his mind would just make him look crazy since James didn’t seem to know about vampires – or if he did he didn’t seem to have related that to what had just happened. Of course, did it really matter if James thought he was crazy? Not really. He probably wouldn’t ever see him again.

“It didn’t help much,” Ichabod said quietly, dropping his gaze as he nudged the toe of his sneaker against a tuff of grass. “Do you ever feel like you’re just getting something and then suddenly it’s gone? Like you’re so close to getting it and then you have no idea again?” he added, lifting his black eyes to meet James’ with a frown and more feeling in his voice.

[Existentially Odd]

James began to feel more himself as Ichabod

Was that really his name?
His parents must not have liked him... or were complete fruitcakes...
Maybe it was a very long and tiring birth?

stepped back and gave him space to think.  "Um... yeah, I guess I do," he said carefully, frowning as he tried to process what this odd stranger was getting at.  "You mean... like with studying, right?  Have you got an assignment due?" he queried, his face suddenly brightening as he thought he understood his companion's lament.  In fact, the more he thought about it, the more sense it made; he got all cabin feverish whenever he was stuck in front of his computer for extended periods of time, especially doing research.  Ichabod looked about the same age as him, too.  "What are you studying?" he asked quickly, answering his own questions in his head and not waiting for any input.

[pinkroses]

Ichabod hesitated at James' question then gave a small nod. Studying, yes, but not the kind of thing James was obviously thinking about. It had been a while since Ichabod had looked at his books from university, but at least he had that so he wouldn't need to lie.

"English lit, with some history," Ichabod answered. And a little telekenises for good measure. No, there was no need to come across as a complete weirdo.

"What about you? That's quite a weight you're carrying around," he addded, nodding towards the backpack he'd slipped off of James' shoulder before drinking from him. There didn't seem much point in answering whether or not he had an assignment due unless James pressed the question. If he said no it would just sound like he was complaining for no reason and he would he lying if he said yes. Well, maybe not lying but he had no idea at the minute what he should he working on and didn't know when he would get back to it.

It felt like so long since he'd talked to someone normal about mundane things like studying. Despite how dull some people may have found the conversation topic Ichabod felt a small flutter of excitement in the pit of his stomach. Things could be normal, even if it didn't feel like it.

[Existentially Odd]

"Tell me about it," James laughed good-naturedly, his deep voice becoming a loud, rounded laugh pushing out into the darkness.  "I'm studying law.  The weight's mostly because of my laptop but... " he broke off as he frowned down at his feet, still trying to remember how his backpack got down there.  He hadn't dropped it, had he?  Things were still really unclear.  "I have some textbooks in there too.  I hope it's not broken, I'm not sure how I... did you...?" his frown turned towards Ichabod as he leaned down and picked up the backpack, sliding both arms through the straps this time and putting it properly on his back.  That way he would definitely not be putting it down without thinking about it.

"Um... I don't know how my bag got down there and I'm not even very sure what happened here because my brain's kind of... foggy but... something happened between us, didn't it?  You did something to me?  Kissed me?" he hazarded, his words awkward because he was very uncomfortable with admitting that he had nothing but a vague sensation about what had transpired after he'd walked up to Ichabod but then suddenly they were calmly talking about classes.  Was that not totally fucking weird?  His eyes widened in horror as an entirely different theory came to him as to why he might not know what had gone on.  "You didn't drug me, did you?!  Holy shit, I cannot be caught doing fucking drugs!"

Frantically, he began inspecting his arms, yanking on the sleeves of his pea coat and the shirt beneath but not getting them far beyond his wrists so he poked randomly at his forearms through his clothes instead.  He quickly abandoned that for pressing his fingertips to his neck - where he'd thought Ichabod had been kissing him but now was maddened by the notion that it had been some sort of drug being injected into him.  Ichabod didn't seem like a raving lunatic intent on terrorising innocent people when he was quite happy to stand there and have a conversation about university, but there was no other easy explanation as to why he couldn't quite remember what had gone on between he and the other man, why he'd felt so blissfully horny-but-happy and how his backpack had ended up at his feet on the dewy grass in the first place.

[pinkroses]

Ichabod watched James as the human began to stumble over his memories of what had just happened between them, the small smile which had been lingering as James told him he studied law disappearing as the stranger in front of him descended into panic. Damn, he hadn’t meant to worry the kid. Maybe he should have just left him after drinking, but the temptation of conversation with anyone had pulled him in.

“Hey, James, calm down,” Ichabod said quickly, stepping closer again and putting out a hand to cover James’ as the human felt at his throat. He didn’t want to tamper with his memory or feelings again, but he would if James didn’t come to his senses without it.

“No, I didn’t drug you. You just looked a bit out of it for a couple of minutes, I helped you put your bag down so you wouldn’t drop it. Nothing broke, you’re okay and I didn’t give you drugs or kiss you,” he added, keeping his gaze fixed on James’ eyes. It wasn’t quite a lie, not really. He was just skipping the bit about what he had done to James to make him feel like that. With James leaping to the conclusion of drugs it was apparent he didn’t know about vampires and Ichabod didn’t really be the one to tell him. He didn’t know what the rules about that were now with the districts, but better safe than sorry, right?

“Why would I have drugged you? Look, come on, maybe you should sit down. When did you last eat?” Ichabod asked, dropping his hand away to gesturing to a nearby bench which he’d ignored earlier in favour of the grass.

[Existentially Odd]

James was soothed by Ichabod's voice and also by his argument.  He'd never had weird feelings like the ones he was getting and he was positive that something had happened at his neck but he would concede that there was no reason to drug him.  Ichabod didn't know him from a bar of soap, why would he drug him?  Plus, he was quite right when he talked about James lacking food; he was supposed to be getting some now, in fact.  His belly felt like a gaping wound in his abdomen and he was beginning to not care what filled it.

"Well... uh... a couple of hours ago, I guess.  Um... maybe six or so?  I got lunch before I started studying but... yeah, it is time for dinner, I suppose," he conceded with a little laugh, grinning lopsidedly at Ichabod as he allowed himself to be directed towards the bench and sat down.  "Okay, you didn't drug me," he said wryly.  But you did something to me and it was really rather nice and relaxing, in a way that no meditation has ever been able to achieve.  "I'm not sure I believe you on the not kissing part, though," he chirped, squinting playfully at Ichabod.  "Something made my head spin and you're the most likely explanation."

It was a flirty little joke that he was surprised to be making, because he was terrible at such things usually - not that his words were stunningly smooth and gainly in this instance either, he supposed.  His heart rate picked up again as he found himself hoping for a response in kind, against his better judgment.

[pinkroses]

Ichabod couldn’t help feeling relieved as James accepted his explanation about the lack of food. He didn’t want to get into an argument about it, or have to force James into thinking differently. He used his powers when he had to, but it felt like cheating when he did, like he wasn’t skilled enough to talk his way out of things otherwise. Which, to be fair, he knew he wasn’t really. He’d never been good at talking under pressure, it just made him tongue tied or things came out which would be better off held inside. Like when he fought with Ben.

He sat beside James’, their thighs lightly brushing against one another as he angled himself towards the human slightly. He hadn’t planned on getting sucked into conversation tonight, but it was a nice surprise. Better than going home and just sitting alone, or listening to Ash bitch about his sire. It was refreshing.

He couldn’t help smiling as James insisted he’d kissed him, wishing he could come up with a better explanation. But then again, why bother? If James thought he had just plunged in and kissed a complete stranger out of no where… well, the way the fresh blood rushed to his cheeks at James’ flirting might give him a different idea. The confidence he’d had from knowing he had control of James’ feelings had disappeared now and Ichabod lowered his gaze bashfully, although the smile still playing on his lips would show James he was pleased with the compliment.

God, how long had it been since someone had flirted with him? Not because they wanted him to drink from them, or knowing nothing would come from it for whatever reason? His tongue suddenly felt far too big for his mouth and Ichabod cleared his throat nervously, trying to give himself an extra couple of seconds to respond. The feel of James’ heart pounding in anticipation of his reply did nothing to ease him nerves.

It’s not me making your head spin, it’s the lack of food.
I’ve not had that effect on anyone before.
I bit you.
Maybe if I kissed you, you would see the difference.

His dark eyes lifted at that final thought, lingering momentarily on James’ lips before returning to his eyes. He was attractive, definitely, and he’d tasted amazing. Would it hurt to see him again? Drink from him again? But he couldn’t get ahead of himself, he still hadn’t managed to come up with an answer.

“Maybe I should give it a go, see if you get the same reaction,” Ichabod said with a shy grin, not game enough to simply make a move on the kid and kiss him when he didn’t know if James would let him.

[Existentially Odd]

James bit his lower lip coyly, looking at Ichabod's handsome face, at his pouty, delicious-looking lips.  Oh, he would certainly not say no to something like that, although soliciting kisses in a park was certainly not his thing.  This place was so far out of his pick up range as to be laughable - he generally went for frat boys, rich boys, privileged boys looking for a bit of fun that knew the score; discretion, discretion, discretion.  Men in the same position as him, who were looking for a long career in high-profile positions that couldn't afford anything tarnishing or reputation-skewing in their closets.  Such things always fell out, eventually.

At that moment, he wasn't thinking about his future, though.  He definitely wasn't thinking about how horrified his mother would be that he might be jeopardising his career (as President of the United States, if she got her way) by fooling around with some complete stranger in a park - a stranger that could be a reporter, a future colleague, a saboteur.  No, oddly he was just thinking of how good looking Ichabod was, how calm and relaxed he'd been feeling in his presence, how those lips would feel pressed against his.  It was dangerous, daring and all the more thrilling because of that.

"I think you should," he said thickly, his heart seeming to pound harder still in his chest.  "In the interests of science."

[pinkroses]

Ichabod stared at James blankly for a few seconds, unsure of how he should react. Maybe he should just do it, just kiss him. But he couldn’t help feeling like he was taking advantage of James – if he hadn’t fed from him he doubted James would be feeling this giddy and flirty. Who was he to know though? Maybe James was always like this, randomly coming on to strangers. After all, plenty of people did that out at clubs, how was this different?

He couldn’t help but let his eyes drop to watch James playing seductively with his lip. His tongue darted out to lightly wet his own lips and Ichabod found himself leaning forwards slightly. He hesitated for a moment before giving in and closing the distance, brushing his lips gently against the human’s as his hand slid around James’ waist. The heat was radiating off him so deliciously, but Ichabod stopped himself from deepening the kiss. He didn’t want to rush into anything and a one night stand had never got him anywhere good.

“I thought you were a lawyer, not a scientist,” Ichabod said with a smile as they parted, but he stayed close to James. There was a brilliant tingle in his lips, a thrill run through his body which he hadn’t felt for so long. “You going to black out on me again?” he added with a teasing grin.

[Existentially Odd]

That moment of hesitation just about sent James crazy, thinking it was going to happen then realising it wouldn't, his heart flipping around in his chest like a newly-landed fish.  It was torturous and it was wonderful, that eternal instant of 'will he, won't he?' and the relief that poured through him when Ichabod finally did was better than any high any drug could've given him.  There was just enough time to register the smoothness and warmth of the other man's lips, to tilt his head ever so slightly and press back at a different angle before it was over and Ichabod's face was once more coming into focus as he pulled back and James slowly opened his eyes.

Despite all this, his stomach gurgled, reminding him that he was hungry.  He hoped Ichabod hadn't heard it and he chuckled at the light tease.  "Well, at this stage I'm a bit of a jack of all trades," he joked back, the grin on his face so broad he could feel the intense pressure in his cheeks and the happiness of it twinkling in his eyes.  "But no, not going to black out from kissing you, I guess you didn't kiss me before, after all, because I would definitely have remembered feeling this good."  His gaze dropped to Ichabod's lips, wanting to kiss him again and marvelling at how fantastic he was feeling, completely out of nowhere.  He had no idea what had brought him to the other brunette tonight but he was certainly counting his good fortune and doing his best to stop his head from spinning off into all sorts of romantic ponderings that simply wouldn't come true.

A guy could dream though, right?  "You're delicious," he complimented sincerely, managing to drag his gaze back up to Ichabod's fathomless eyes.

[pinkroses]

Ichabod couldn’t help but smile at the sight of the wide grin on James’ face, but he ducked his head awkwardly at the compliments from a stranger he’d only just met. He’d never been good at taking compliments, even from people he was close to, and he never really knew how to react to them. And in his recent solitude (listening to Ash complain didn’t really count) he seemed to have forgotten how to respond at all.

Or maybe it was just James making him feel that way.

“You’re quite the charmer, aren’t you?” Ichabod murmured, glancing sideways at James. This all felt so unexpected, one minute he’d been sat on the grass completely stressing out and now he had this human looking at him like he was some great catch. Ichabod knew he’d been so besotted with other people like that before, being on the receiving end was quite different.

“Can I walk you home? To make sure you remember to get some food?” And get your number, arrange to see you again, do something, anything, get out of the flat and kiss you again and again, feel good again, it felt amazing.

He couldn’t just sit at home moping forever and seeing James again sounded like the perfect reason to get out.

“Maybe, could I take your number? To see you again?” Ichabod asked, slipping his hand into the pocket of his jeans to grab his phone, but then frowning as he realised he’d left the apartment without it. “Oh, I don’t have my phone. I guess I’ll have to rely on you calling me,” Ichabod said, forcing the frown off his face and giving James a small smile, biting gently on his lower lip nervously. Would he call? After the effects of the bite had worn off would he be so intrigued? Would he have enjoyed the kiss and flirting so much? Or would he just put it all down to a weird experience in the park and forget about meeting up again?

[Existentially Odd]

James shrugged affably.  "Eh, I try," he beamed, blushing as he was also complimented, despite trying to behave nonchalantly.  Ichabod's next comments came before he could say too much; just as he was getting ready to make a quip about one thing, another was said and then it felt completely wrong to backtrack, since the topic seemed to have changed.  He waited his companion out, shuffling his thoughts and then suddenly finding himself thoroughly enamoured with the way he bit his lip.

"That can definitely be arranged," James agreed, standing up and moving aside his coat in order to reach into his side jeans pocket and extract his phone.  As he swiped it and typed in the pin code to unlock it, he looked sideways at Ichabod, attempting to regather his casual air.  "You know, you don't have to walk me home.  Not straight away, anyway.  You could come grab some dinner with me?  I mean, I was only going to get some Subway or something - I live at the Templar in the city and there's one about a block from my place - but I'd love it if you wanted to hang for a bit?"

He opened up a new contact in his phone and looked at Ichabod properly, ready to input his number but hoping his offer would be accepted.  Really, he should be going home to work on his assignment but what could a couple of hours of relaxation hurt?  All work and no play made James a dull boy, right?

[pinkroses]

Ichabod raised an eyebrow as James had said he would take his number, but then seemed to be rejecting his offer of walking him home. As James went on though Ichabod’s smile returned as he realised what James was getting at.

“Sure, that sounds great. I already ate, but I’d like to come along and… yeah, that’d be great,” he said, standing up to join James, giving his mobile number when James was ready for it. Weirdly it felt like a weight was being lifted, just knowing this boy wanted to spend some more time with him.

"I actually live right by there too, in the Capital," he said, raising his gaze from James' phone once his number had been programmed in properly. "So that's pretty perfect," he said with a grin.

[Existentially Odd]

James grinned at Ichabod as his plan was agreed to, asking for the other man's number and typing it into his phone quickly.  Just as he'd finalised the contact details and opened up a text message (so James would have his number) though, he was told that his mystery meet-up lived across the road from him??  He stopped dead and looked at Ichabod in awe, his jaw dropping open in surprise.

"You're kidding me, no way!" he exclaimed, his deep baritone voice becoming a bass as he expressed his shock.  "We're neighbours!" he said in delight, his mind already spinning with how convenient it would be for them to visit one another.  "Wow, we were obviously meant to meet up tonight," he announced jovially, paying attention to his phone long enough to send the text message he'd crafted haphazardly.  It said, 'This is James.  Now you have my number too '  "You live there with your folks?  I still live with mine, and my little sister."

As they started heading in the direction of home (it took James a moment to get his bearings though Ichabod seemed confident of the way they were going, indicating to him that the guy hung out in the park quite a lot) for both of them, James slid his phone back in his pocket and watched Ichabod's face carefully as they walked.  He wondered if the other man would look as good as he thought he did once they were in full light.  James certainly hoped so.

[pinkroses]

Ichabod laughed at James’ excitement at finding out where he lived. It was a bit of a coincidence and it would be nice to have a new friend close by, James seemed pretty enthusiastic about meeting up again as well. But with James so close by, he might decide to just drop by sometime. In the day.

Of course there were any number of reasons Ichabod could use for why he hadn’t been around to open the door, but if this was actually going to become anything more than two strangers walking home then James could find out what he was. There was no point worrying about that now though, they were just talking about meeting up and God knows how it might go on from there. They may never even see each other again so Ichabod wasn’t about to rush into telling James anything.

“No, I live alone, after I moved out for uni going back to my parents was never really an option.” Because I came back as a vampire. “It’s  more space than I need really, but the apartment was… it was a gift from a friend,” he said, his voice wavering slightly at the end. Well, that was one way to describe it. There was no way to explain what Kerr had been to someone who didn’t know about vampires, and even to those who did the whole thing might weird.

[Existentially Odd]

James gave Ichabod an incredulous look.  Even if the apartment was on the ground floor, getting one as a gift from a friend didn't seem logical.  "You got a whole apartment as a gift?" he asked disbelievingly.  "From a boyfriend?" he queried as casually as he could manage.  There'd been a flirty vibe between them that James didn't feel he could be mistaken about but seriously, 'friends' didn't give friends apartments; lovers did.  On the upside, it was usually part of a breakup settlement, which James sincerely hoped this was.  He could handle that.

[pinkroses]

“No, we weren’t together like that,” Ichabod said, glancing towards James. He’d been as amazed as James was now to find out the apartment was in his name, but he’d seen the deeds now and it was true, it was his. And Kerr hadn’t even told him when he’d done it, probably knowing Ichabod wouldn’t feel comfortable about being given something so huge. He’d got used to living off of Kerr’s money over the years, but Kerr had so much of it, it just didn’t seem to matter. It wasn’t like taking money from someone who might need it one day.

Even when Ichabod had been living there with Kerr, it had never felt like they were a couple. Not really. Ichabod had been his pet. So he wasn’t really lying to James about that.

“He left it to me. He died, not too long ago. And, yeah, he gave it to me. I guess gift was the wrong word, but, uh, yeah. Sorry, that’s not such a cheery conversation topic,” Ichabod said, lifting a hand to run through his hair and swallowing down the painful lump in his throat.

[Existentially Odd]

"Ohhh," James exhaled a descending lament of regret, blushing because he felt ashamed of his implications.  "I never thought of that, I'm really sorry," he mumbled, pulling a regretful face at Ichabod.  "I'm, uh, sorry about your friend, too," he added lamely, biting his lip as he gave up looking at his companion and simply watched the ground ahead of them instead.  He shoved his hands into the pockets of his coat and tried vainly to think of something else to say that would alleviate the awkward tension, but nothing was coming to him.

[pinkroses]

“It’s ok,” Ichabod said quietly, try not to let his voice wobble as he said it and give away that it wasn’t ok. He had a sudden urge to blurt out more, to tell James everything. He could explain that Kerr had been his protector from so many things over the years, his sire, his teacher, his best friend, someone Ichabod looked up to and admired more than anyone else in this world. The only person he’d ever loved, but who had never been his.

But James wouldn’t understand. The only person who might was Ben and there was no way he was going to go to him to spill his heart.

Ichabod realised he’d been staring at the ground as they walked and he forced himself to glance across at James, seeing the human doing to same thing. How did things manage to turn so awkward so quickly? His gaze drifted over James’ profile, focusing on admiring him for a few seconds and a small smile drifted over his lips. Yes, it hurt to think about, but he couldn’t let it ruin a small chance at maybe finding someone to distract him from the pain.

“So have you been at a study group or something tonight? Got a test or assignment coming up soon?” he asked, grasping desperately at a change of subject to lighten the mood.

[Existentially Odd]

James was thoroughly relieved that Ichabod managed to change the subject and he leapt upon it gratefully when it arose, smiling broadly at the other man.  "Yes to both, actually," he laughed.  "Group assignment that I was working on at the library - don't you just hate those? - and another essay due next week.  I should probably go home and devote a good three or so hours to it but... I'm way too tired for that," he laughed ruefully, pulling his right hand out of his pocket in order to reach up and rub his neck pointedly.

"Right now, I'm looking forward to just relaxing with a sub and a drink and hanging out with you.  In fact, we could go to your place, if you want, since you live so close to me.  If you don't mind me inviting myself and my takeaway food into your apartment to take advantage of the fact that you don't have a noisy family hanging around so you could actually hear yourself think while you watch TV or something, that is," he laughed, finding himself blushing as the implication of what he'd just said actually sank in past the speed of his mouth.

He'd just invited himself into a virtual stranger's home, just because they were practically neighbours.  And because the guy promised to be insanely good looking, in the light.  Was he nuts?

[pinkroses]

“I don’t have to do those, thank God. I’m not actually at the uni here, I’m registered where I started the course, but they let me carry on doing distance learning when I came back here. I get my assignments by email and post and stuff,” Ichabod explained, watching as James rubbed at his neck, wondering if he had healed him properly. He was sure he had done though, Ichabod had done that as a nervous habit after he’d been drunk from – even when it was healed there was still that knowledge that something had been there. He began to wonder whether James was mentioning being tired as an excuse to cut this short, but then suddenly James had another suggestion.

“Uh…” Ichabod glanced sideways at James, hesitating as the human invited himself over to his flat. How had dinner and a chat at a take away joint suddenly turned into them going back to his apartment? He didn’t mind especially, he wasn’t imagining anything much would happen other than chatting, maybe another kiss – but there were a few things in the apartment which might give James reasons to think again. Like a fridge full of blood bags.

But what were the chances that James would be rooting around in the fridge? And if he saw something he shouldn’t Ichabod was hopeful that he would be able to deal with it when it came to it. It wasn't like he could refuse without sounding like a weirdo though.

The sight of James’ cheeks colouring quite adorably as he realised what he had done decided Ichabod and his face relaxed into a smile.

“No, that’s fine, that’s great. Better than just sitting in Subway, yeah. There’s not much food in my flat so taking food back is better than you showing up expecting to be fed,” Ichabod said with a grin, moving closer to James and nudging his shoulder playfully against James'.

[Existentially Odd]

James pulled a pretend shocked face.  "Expect to be fed?  How rude!" he joked, knowing that they were both aware how forward he'd been inviting himself over in the first place.  Ichabod had taken it surprisingly well, though and he'd scored some extra time to see if he could like this guy as much as he thought he could.  It was weird, because he definitely wasn't the type to pick up random strangers and he now had no idea what to talk about with him, where to guide the conversation so that he could establish their points of difference or commonality but it was very exciting because of that.  This had to be the craziest thing he'd done since coming out to his family two years ago - which just went to prove how rigid his life generally was.

They'd finally reached the edge of the park and the conversation lulled as they negotiated crossing the roads that would lead them to their destination in the inner city.  It was also not all that easy to talk because there were a lot of people out on the streets and they kept having to break apart to accommodate pushy businessmen and women in suits determined to get home after a late finish at work.  James had lived his whole life in the bustle so he was an expert crowd wedger (slipping himself into all sorts of shapes to wedge himself into gaps to get past or between people heading towards him) and he watched Ichabod instinctively to see how he was coping.  He seemd just as experienced, though it occurred to James he'd said things about 'coming here' or 'coming back here', which prompted more questions as they walked.

"So, you said you came back here, where are you from, originally?" he queried, watching Icabod's face become clearer as he was illuminated by streetlights and the lights coming from the buildings they were walking past.

[pinkroses]

Ichabod was happy to let things go quiet as they walked through the crowds – he was still trying to wrap his head around the fact that he was taking someone back to his apartment, someone he didn’t know, who in turn didn’t know he was a vampire. So many things could go wrong with this scenario, but why not take a chance?

Ichabod found it a little easier than James to slip through the crowds – as often the people approaching him felt the need to move first. It was a fun little test for himself, a distraction from worrying that he shouldn’t be taking James home. But the fact that occasionally he still had to move out of the way showed him he still needed practise and he knew he would do for decades, if not centuries.

“Oh, my parents live out on the east side of the city, boring suburban area, I grew up there,” Ichabod explained. They hated going into the centre of the city, they were happy out there so Ichabod didn’t worry about running into them. He’d thought about telling them everything, but they were happy getting a postcard or a call from him every now and again to tell them he was alright, so there seemed little point in disturbing their happiness.

“What about you? Have you always lived around here?” Ichabod asked, glancing towards James and giving a smile as he noticed how James’ gaze stayed pretty much fixed on him, but he was still weaving through the crowds quite effectively. If James had grown up here he might remember the weirdness of the chaos of when Lazarus first took over – but Ichabod had experienced that as a human and hadn’t questioned the stories of the gas leak which were circulated. Still, it might make things a little easier to explain if it ever came to that.

[Existentially Odd]

"Nah, we moved to this city about four years ago.  From Boston before here, but my mother was headhunted from her law firm and the money was good enough that they didn't think twice about moving so we did.  I've always lived in the middle of the city, though.  I think I'd probably freak out if I tried to sleep in the suburbs where there wasn't the constant sounds of traffic, crowds and sirens," James grinned, stepping up to the door of Subway and gallantly opening it to let Ichabod in.

There was a method to his madness, of course; when Ichabod accepted, he walked straight into the building and towards those illuminating flourescent lights, under which nobody looked great... except this, guy, apparently.  James' expression fell into one of hopeless adoration as Ichabod smiled his thanks at having the door held open for him and walked past casually.  James wasn't feeling at all casual after getting a good look at Ichabod, his body was zinging and there was something truly chemical about the way he wanted to get closer to the other man.  And he'd already kissed him?  He could hardly believe his luck!

He walked in and got in line to order his sandwich, smiling at Ichabod and finding himself repeatedly looking at the other man, whether he stood close by to chat or hung back so that he didn't take a needless place in line.  Every time he made eye contact with Ichabod, the feeling of it tingled all the way down to his groin and made his tummy flip with wonder.  He wasn't generally someone led by his hormones but he also had to admit they'd never been jangled this hard before, either.  He was smitten with Ichabod and he wanted to do a whole lot of very indecent things with him - things that distracted him from ordering his chicken fillet sub on wheat bread the first time without stuttering, so he eventually had to calm himself down and concentrate.

When he got through the ordering process and to the payment section, James asked to make his foot long a meal deal so he could get a drink and two cookies.  He smiled over at Ichabod.  "Which cookie is your favourite?" he quieried, planning on sharing one with his new friend.  Even if he was full, surely he had room for a cookie!

[pinkroses]

Ichabod would have had to have been blind not to have noticed the way James kept glancing in his direction and if it wasn’t for the look on James’ face Ichabod would have thought he’d managed to smear something off all over his. It was more attention than he was used to, but it definitely wasn’t unpleasant, just… unnerving.

He had been eyeing up the menu above James when the cookie question came his way and Ichabod lowered his gaze to James with a look of surprise. Before he’d been sired Ichabod had thought he would miss all of his favourite foods, but the cravings for sweet and savoury just didn’t come. The smells were nice, but didn’t draw him in like they had when he’d been a constantly hungry teenager.

“Oh, no, thank you, I won’t have one. It’s… uh… blood sugar levels and stuff,” he said with a small shrug, giving the first excuse which popped into his head and instantly wishing he hadn’t picked something which involved blood. He could feel the eyes of the cashier on him as well as James’ and his gaze flickered to the kid behind the cash register who smirked knowingly in a way Ichabod didn’t find at all comforting.

“The best have to be the Smarties ones though, I’m like a kid when it comes to the colours,” he said with a grin at James, moving closer from where he’d been hovering out of the queue and casting an eye over the display as he rested a hand lightly on James' shoulder. “What are you going for?” he asked, hoping James wouldn’t linger on Ichabod’s supposed issues with his blood sugar.

[Existentially Odd]

James smiled automatically as Ichabod got closer to him, realising belatedly that he could answer his companion and order at the same time by turning around and telling the employee on the other side of the counter, "Two macadamia and white chocolate."  When the guy moved off to bag his cookies, he pulled his backpack off (sorry to forcibly move Ichabod's hand off him) and rested it on the counter so he could fish his wallet out.  "I love the macadamias, not so hot on the chocolate - I wish the mix was more skewed in favour of the nuts," he smiled, finding himself staring at Ichabod's face in wonder yet again.

He paid for his food, shrugged back into his backpack, took his bag and filled his soft drink cup at the machine, mixing half cola and half lemon drink to achieve the tang he liked.  He thought about Ichabod being diabetic as he did and realised he wouldn't be able to share his drink, either.  He hoped it didn't become awkward with him eating and Ichabod not... but then again, he imagined having something to do besides gawk at how good looking his companion was was preferable.  They left the Subway restaurant and headed down the block to the Capital.

(Continued in 'Gaining Momentum')