ALTERNATE: No Risk No Reward

[Trillian]

Should he offer an explanation? He felt like Jake was deserving of one, for he was being quite gracious.

"Whenever my dad was being an asshole to me, he'd use that nickname. Sarcastically, not as a term of endearment."

but you continue using it in your head don't you?
and now he knows you have daddy issues
Bennie-boy
(laughter)

Ben turned and tried to shrug it off with a smile. No big deal, right?

"Can we talk about you, for a bit? Maybe tell me how and where you got all this stuff?"

[Black Philip]

Jake had daddy issues too, and felt odd that now he was the one triggering someone else's dad shit. He was normally in Ben's position.

"I'm sorry Ben. Father figures can really suck." He tried to keep it from sounding too sympathetic but Ben would hear a bit of actual regret in Jake's voice, something bordering on guilt.

Then Ben asked him to talk about himself and where he got his collection. He was welcome for a subject change, hoping his own social misstep hadn't made Ben mistrustful of him. 

"Well most of it I got on location. I like to travel. I'm also an amateur historian so it's about as much as preserving these things as owning them."

Ben might notice how temperature controlled the room was, how many things were behind protective glass, and the ones that weren't were cleaned and cared for. Jake valued all he'd accomplished, knowing that a lot more was in his future.

"Take this," he said, pointing to a collection of silver coins. "I got these when traveling through Norway. They are from the Viking civilization."

He didn't want this to turn into a brag session but Ben seemed interested. He'd stop at the one item for now, and see if Ben wanted to know more or asked Jake another question about himself. 

[Trillian]

Jake's empathy struck a chord in Ben, and the words were filed away for future reference. Father figures, Jake had said, and he wondered if maybe Jake was talking not about a father, but of a sire. Were sires considered fathers? He'd always thought that there was more of a marriage ideal to it, a partnership. Instead of exchanging vows, they exchanged blood. But still, he made a mental note not to ask the questions he was going to ask about Jake's sire; how they'd met, how Jake had been sired, how come he wasn't here with Jake?

They moved past some of Jake's things and Ben was eager for all the stories Jake had about the items on display. Upon arriving at the coins, Ben looked closer, seeing the etchings on them but not knowing what they meant. He hadn't even known vikings made their own coins. He'd thought they were just raiders. Of course they'd have to trade between themselves. One of the coins in the cabinet looked a bit like a piece of jewellery, and Ben could see where a leather thong might be threaded through. Real silver, likely.

"They would've been collector's pieces even in your time," Ben remarked, trying to impress Jake that he knew a little bit about history. He was pretty sure the vikings had stopped well before Jake's sixteenth-century beginnings, but he had no idea how much time separated them. "I'd like to visit Norway. They have that six month day and night thing in the north, right? I've always wondered why vampires don't all live up there during winter. I imagine that there's not a huge population to drink from, though."

Did Norway even have a big city? He knew the capital was Oslo. Did that city have millions of people in it? He had no idea.

[Black Philip]

Jake couldn’t help but love Ben for being so interested in history. Most humans didn’t care about that sort of thing. However, Ben did care and it was a good sign for his siring prospects. A lot of being a vampire was knowing about the past, especially his clan.

His comments about Norway were endearing, and he received a kiss for them. He had a response for it too.

“So these coins came from my mortal family. They had them in our home since the Vikings raided Northern Scotland. It wasn’t even called that at the time. I recovered them from the wreckage after locals decided they had enough of my parents. I had been a vampire for about ten years at the time.”

“Your instinct is right. Vampires need large population centers to survive these nights and maybe one day we’ll go to Norway together.”

It was something to look forward to, if they didn’t have enough already.

[Trillian]

Ben wondered why the locals had attacked Jake's mortal parents. What had they done? He didn't want to ask because of the whole 'father figure' comment from before, and because it might still be a sad memory. He supposed some two hundred and seventy years shouldn't eased that ache, but he wouldn't presume. His focus changed when Jake spoke further.

Maybe one day we'll go to Norway together, Jake said. The words sent a thrill down Ben's spine, radiating around his body. It sounded like the kind of thing that would happen after Ben was sired. Jetsetting around the world, immersing into other cultures, learning different languages.

"What language do they speak there?" he asked, then marvelled at his own stupidity. "Norwegian, I guess," he said.

Oh. My. God.

"Anything else you'd like to show me?" he asked, trying to cover up his ridiculous question and hoping Jake wouldn't discount him as an idiot who would ask embarrassing questions in good company.

[Black Philip]

Jake was relieved Ben didn’t ask more details about his parents. He barley remembered them and what he did recall wasn’t pleasant. Besides, he was sharing, just at his own pace. There was no need to run head long into this is my life. Besides, it was Ben’s turn to share. He would have to figure out a good way to ask him something personal. That could wait for the moment. They were still at the museum of Jacob McCloud.

Jake smiled as Ben answered his own question but didn’t comment on it. He didn’t need to highlight an already corrected error, even to tell him it was adorable.

He didn’t know what to show Ben next. There was tons to see, but he wanted the next item to surpass the last. Then he rembered why Ben was here, to become a vampire. He grabbed Ben’s hand, lacing their fingers together and lightly pulling him towards their next stop. They stood before a mighty oak bookcase, with two double glass doors protecting the tomes inside. After dropping Ben’s hand, Jake went to a nearby desk and pulled out a set of keys and unlocking the case. He threw the doors open and let the familiar and lovely smell of musty books clog his nostrils.

“Everything in here is on vampires,” he declared. “My real speciality is vampire history. What do you want to read about?” He looked at Ben, eager for his response.

[Trillian]

Ben smiled as Jake took his hand and led him to the next display. He stood in front of the bookcase, trying to read the titles behind the glass until Jake unlocked it and revealed his prizes. The smell of the books hit Ben's nose as well and he breathed it in, reminded of his many nights at the library, curled up with history books on his lap, taking notes. Art books, too. He'd found a few paintings through the centuries of nobility that were titled as sons of this man or that, but they were identical down to their birthmarks. Vampires through the ages? He thought so!

When Jake spoke, Ben's breath caught. He gave a tiny gasp and his eyes roamed hungrily over the spines. He was so focussed on the books that he failed to hear Jake's next question about which specific thing he wanted to read. Instead, he reached out a hand but stopped before his fingertips came close to brushing anything. He looked at Jake with pleading eyes. "Can I touch them?" he asked with a healthy dose of reverence.

[Black Philip]

Jake didn’t mind that Ben didn’t hear his question. He looked star struck. He supposed that to a human who wanted to be a vampire this was the holy grail. Jake reached into the case and pulled out one of the few books in English. It was a black leather book with yellow pages and crumbled edges. The binding was new, and it showed someone went to great lengths to restore it. Jake would place it in Ben’s hands.

“Of course,” he said, happy to finally have someone to share these with. “Now this book is both history and theology. It’s the vampire bible. It’s a good place to start.”

The title read, The Book Of Nod.

[Trillian]

Ben looked from the book in his hands to Jake, his expression saying it all. He was honoured, grateful, awestruck. His gaze lowered to the book again, and he looked at his hands clutching it.

the oil on my fingers
don't want to damage this

He moved to the closest table surface and set it down.

"Can I read it? Should I wear gloves?" He remembered that the librarians had put on these thin cloth gloves to handle the really old books in the archive section. Ben had been allowed there once, after booking some time and paying a fee. The librarian had made him put on gloves, too, even though he hadn't even been permitted to turn the pages.

He was caught between looking at Jake and looking at the book. Practically salivating over it.

[Black Philip]

Jake’s hands had no such oils, and so he had no need to wear gloves. He was impressed with both the reverence and knowledge. He looked at Ben as if he was an angel and was weirdly turned on by the whole exchange. He has so much to show hm. The book of Nod was just the warm up. He went to a much less prestigious shelf and pulled out a slim black paperback. It also was titled The Book Of Nod, but was not nearly as impressive as the other.

“I don’t have the right kind of gloves right now,” he apologized. “Vampires don’t need them. You can start with this copy and then read from that one once we get the gloves. But I’d love for you to read from it.”

He hoped Ben wouldn’t be mad, but what was the point of suggesting the gloves if he didn’t want to keep the books safe, right?

[Trillian]

Ben's reaction was a strange mixture of pleasure and disappointment. He gave the old book a longing glance but was happy that Jake had a substitute for him. He had a million questions to ask about the book but he contained them, because he was going to read it for himself.

"Thank you," he said, his voice coming out breathy and insubstantial. He hugged the book to his chest. "Can I take this home? Actually, no, I better not," he said with a frown and a wave of irritation. "My room-mates are garbage. They have no respect."

A few times his stuff had been rifled through as they'd looked for a jacket of his to 'borrow' without asking, or thinking he might have drugs stashed away that they could steal. They hadn't gone on a drug search for a while though, finally believing that Ben didn't use them. They'd even found his journals once and started reading them. Under threat that he would leave without paying his part of the rent for that month had given him some space and apologies, but he had nowhere to go that he could afford and so he put up with their shit.

[Black Philip]

Jake could no longer ignore Ben's life outside of their new friendship. He cocked an eyebrow as he talked about his roommates, and decided he didn't like his future fledge living in those conditions. He also knew if Ben was as driven as he seemed to be, he'd hate the idea of a handout.

"Do you maybe want a job," he asked. "I could pay you enough so you can get a good place. I need help cataloging a whole storage locker full of more stuff, and the books need to be typed up into computer files."

He realized he totally missed his question about the book. It didn't matter. They both knew he was offering to help Ben out, but he could work for it. There would be no charity here.

[Trillian]

Jake was exactly right about Ben not wanting a handout. Too proud to accept charity, the offer of a job skirted his argument there even though he knew he wouldn't get this kind of opportunity if it wasn't for the vampire's interest in him. Screw it. People always said it was who you know not what you know, and Jake wasn't giving him a credit card or anything. Just a job. A much better job than his current one; working in a warehouse moving boxes off trucks and onto shelves, and then off shelves and back onto other trucks.

"Yes. Thank you. I can do that," he said, nodding. He wondered if he would be working with other staff members who could show him how to do what he needed to do or if he would be on his own figuring it all out for himself. He liked both of those ideas, but one would be distinctly more difficult than the other. "Thanks," he said again. On the heels of that. "You'd be my boss."

An obvious observation, but he was mostly wondering if Jake would still be open to them advancing their relationship.

[Black Philip]

Jake was so glad that Ben accepted. He'd feared a fight over it, and looked visibly relieved. Ben was overestimating the operation here. It would be him on his own, with Jake to help when he had time. Ben might not have realized this, but it was a part of his training to type up the collection. He'd have to learn about all of it as he worked. He would be paying him to get trained, and at least at first Ben would be none the wiser. Jake could be a cruel man, a bastard who killed over an insult, but he could also be very generous if he liked you. He really liked Ben.

"I might be your boss," he said getting turned on by the more powerful roles he took in Ben's life. "But I want to be more than that. Do you want more than just a boss?"

He was being vulnerable in a way, telling Ben he had feelings for him without really telling him. He wasn't even sure if they were real yet. Was it lust? Was it neediness? He didn't know at the moment. He took Ben's hand again, locking eyes as he waited for his response.

[Trillian]

His heartbeat picked up as Jake made a sensual (to his ears) request. Ben picked himself lips and nodded, though he figured he should really put his agreement into words. Instead of a simple yes, he said much more than he intended.

“I want so much from you.” Then he blushed, but he was glad he’d said it. Jake could know no less.