Waiting for Sunrise

[Idrial]

(For Billiam)
(Listen to song before reading.)

Remember Me by Nomyn and Veela

The ride up the elevator had been nerve-wracking for Sam, trying to take her Maria's words to heart. There must have been a good reason as to why Jake wanted to meet here, butterflies filling her stomach as the elevator went ding on the twentieth floor. The doors sliding open as Sam quickly stepped out, only to come at a standstill. Sam didn't know how long she had been staring at the decorative framed door, so this is why Jake gave the thumb scanner and the key.  She didn't want to go in alone but Jake wouldn't be here for an hour or more, taking a deep breath she pressed her eye up to the scanner and her thumbprint under the pressure sensor. Revelling a hidden titanium door behind the decorative wooden door, her hand shaking as she opened the titanium door.

The penthouse had been filled with Jake's treasures he accumulated over the years, books artifacts, weapons all sorts of trinkets. Sam couldn't help but scan the room before her eyes came in contact with the fireplace, a flashback seared her mind. It was the second night she had been turned, the encounter had not been a pleasant one. She had tried to strike Jake with a chair and it didn't end well for Sam. Something about Jake always knew what she was thinking and she retaliated with violence. It didn't make her feel good as the butterflies transformed into a heavy pit of frustration in her stomach. Breaking her gaze with the fireplace looking around the room, cold and sad memories reappearing no matter where she looked now.

"I haven't revealed my name or what the clans mean, because you are not ready to know that information," Jake barked. "For now just call me sir."

"Insolent little bitch," Jake spat!

"You're an opportunity for me," Jake answered. "I can assure you that no matter what the circumstances of your creation were, I would never neglect or misuse you. You share my blood, and are therefore precious to me"

"If you are unpleased with your master," Jake yelled, "then you may try your hand at immortality alone. You were lying bloody in the park, of course you weren't planned. Yet, here you are. Get over it and move on, or if you're so unhappy with the way you were sired then go outside and wait for sunrise. Otherwise sit down, shut up, and listen to what I have to teach you about our clan!"

Sam shivered as she experienced the ghosts of past that remained in this place and that pit frustration kept growing. Wondering when Jake would get here to talk about whatever it was he wanted to discuss, he had been vague in the matter. She needed out of this room and proceeded towards the spiral metal staircase, placing her thumb on the lock, the door couldn't open fast enough as she exited onto the roof.

This was better and the frustration within Sam was subsiding just a little, she never spent too much time up here. This was more Jakes place than Sam's and she always was glad when he was on the roof and not in the penthouse, wasting time she started to walk around on the roof. A large garden was here and so a bed encased in glass. That made Sam raise an eyebrow, Jake never told her why that was on the roof. Shrugging her shoulders before turning her gaze towards the city, it was a beautiful sight and it almost made Sam forget about the memories down below. Staring out into the distance as she waited for Jake, he should be here soon. She was hoping anyways he did say he wasn't sure how long sentencing would take.

[Black Philip]

Jake arrived at the Dante's Inferno about an hour after Sam did, the post trial taking far longer than it was supposed to. He remembered the old driveway, and how proud of himself he'd been when he moved here and built this place. He'd dreamed of being a big developer then, not an Oligarch and not a District Leader. He had no children then, not even Scott. Sam was a human woman, looking for her sister. Now the building seemed sad as he approached it. They'd left it to stay out of Vomas's clutches and be closer to their people, but Jake had always missed it. Lots of humans and even a few vampires still lived here, but to Jake none of that mattered. It wasn't his home anymore.

He reached the apartment with ease, and saw the door to the roof was opened. He first went into his old bedroom and located the vault. He remembered the combination and placed his important belongings inside before heading back into the main room and up the spiral staircase. He emerged and saw Sam, and let her know he was there through the bond. He approached her and would attempt to greet her with a huge. His face wore a heavy look, and he wasn't starting any conversations. He walked to his favorite edge and dangled his legs over it. His eyes stared up at the night sky and the view of the city. He motioned for the ledge next to him. "Come sit with me," he said softly, waiting till Sam was comfortable.

[Idrial]

A familiar hum ran across her emotions, how long had she been staring at the city? Turning around to see Jake emerging onto the roof, he looked worse than when he came home from the war. Accepting his hug in silence unsure of what to say to Jake. This hug didn't feel as warm and inviting, making Sam realize things had changed. For better or worse she wasn't sure, maybe that's what this talk was all about. And why this place? A lot didn't make sense to Sam, releasing him after a short moment.

Jake walked over to an edge and dangling his feet, nodding at his request as she made her way over to the ledge, mimicking Jake and dangling her feet over the edge. Hands clasped in her lap, the silence was deafening between them and it didn't make things less awkward between the two. Sam scanned the stars in the sky, looking for familiar constellations in the sky. She found the Big Dipper easily enough and Orion's Belt was tricky this time of year. Once Jake started to speak she would focus all her attention on him with bated breath.

[Black Philip]

Jake stared at the stars, the clouds, the strange purples and violets of the night, and finally turned his head to look at Sam. She looked beautiful, and he grabbed her hand, finally feeling like he could speak.

"Thank you for what you did today. You didn't have to come help me."

He leaned his head on her shoulder and buried himself there, only moving if Sam made him. It felt nice to be up here. He'd always loved this spot more than any other in the city, White Rabbit included. It was the perfect place for two people to talk. They had about an hour and a half until they'd need to head to day sleep, some of the rooms on the lower floors still having beds and still being sun proof. He was sure Sam would rather return home to the Rabbit Warrens, but they didn't feel like home lately. They felt like the place a great tragedy took place.

[Idrial]

Jake grabbing Sam's hand brought her back to reality, turning her head and looking at him with brightly shining eyes. Letting him lean on her shoulder, it made Jake feel better. Shifting under his weight so his head could lay more comfortably on her shoulder. Speaking to Jake in a simple tone, looking at the stars for encouragement.

"You had been wronged and needed my testimony. I can't turn my back someone who has been so horribly wronged." A deep sigh falling from her chest.

"No matter how badly I been hurt I would have still testified. Even if I decided not to return home and not forgive you." Her voice cracking just a little as she finished her statement.

[Black Philip]

He was happy Sam didn't recoil from his touch. It gave him hope for their relationship. He listened as she spoke, feeling validated by her words in regards to his rape. She understood him better than most, and at first he thought that maybe she wasn't upset at all. However, then he heard the second part of her statement, and in that he sensed her pain, and he lifted up from her to look her in the eye.

"Sam. I'm a shit sire. I really am. I'm so sorry for how I've treated you all these years. You deserve so much better than me."

He laid back in his earlier position, and looked at the stars. "I didn't have the best relationship with the vampire who raised me. I promised I'd be better when the time to make another presented itself. I was wrong."

He thought of Mithras, and his seventy years of abuse. He also thought of Sophie. How different would his life have been if he'd grown up with her instead?

[Idrial]

Sam carefully thought over her words as Jake's statement was not false, he had been a shit sire. For the most part and he was not all to blame, Sam could be difficult to put it politely. He didn't know and it was painful to talk about, it made her feel unworthy in her clan. It wasn't the first time she realized she was different than the rest of the clan over the years. Still holding Jakes gaze, speaking slowly and unable to hide the shame in her eye's.

"I'm not innocent either Jake. You... we're not prepared for me," unable to hold his gaze now, "Not even my own parents were prepared for me." Shaking her head still looking downward.

"I was born with a severe dopamine deficiency, and my brain is also deficient in sending neurological signals. It has plagued me my entire life. No parent wants something to be wrong with their child." She stopped scared to go on for a moment

After hearing he didn't have the best relationship with a vampire who raised him, he needed to know this about Sam. Hiding it would only hinder them going forward, unsure of how Jake would take the information. Sam needed to push through it was the only way.

"I had also had severe depression in my pre-teens till I was twenty-two, I had it somewhat under control. When you sired me I had to stop taking my medication even though it was a lower dose, you didn't know." Her voice devoid of emotion as she continued.

"I'm not a fledge you would have picked to make... I'm nothing like the Ventrue clan. To be fair I look back now and I feel as if I took a lot your freedom that night. I sometimes wished you would have put that metal rod through my heart." She was a mixture of feelings, shame, regret, sadness and burden to him.

[Black Philip]

Jake always knew Sam had mental health problems. Then again so did he. She might've had her depression, but he had his mood swings and impulsiveness. He hadn't been ready to have a child, but he couldn't agree that Sam had taken his freedom. She'd saved him tonight. She served such an important purpose in his life. He didn't disagree that she wasn't the child he would've made. It was true and however hurtful they needed to be honest.

"I don't care about the clan," he said, believing it in the moment. "I'm very proud of who you are. I don't need you to be the perfect Ventrue. I need you to be my Sam."

He couldn't handle that she sometimes wished for death, and held her tighter as they talked. His eyes were still on the sky, the view helping to keep him calm. He remembered coming up here a million times for that purpose, but he'd never taken Sam up here. It was nice to be here with her, despite the conversation at hand. "Well I don't wish that," he said with a touch more defensiveness. "I love you so much. How you came to me is one thing. Who you are to me is something very different."

"I can't replace your mortal family," he said, feeling sometimes like that's what Sam sought from him. He wondered if she'd see it or not.

[Idrial]

Sam shot a fierce look at him, "You care about your clan, don't give me that Jake." Her eye's then softened at him as he held her tighter.

It was heart-warming to hear him boast that he was proud of Sam. He stomach fluttered when expressed his love towards Sam. He had never said those words before out loud, yet she felt guilty. She reached into her back pocket and pulled out her cellphone, showing Jake the pictures of the damage he had done. It was not to make him feel bad, he needed to see this, everything had to come out.

"I do in some way want you to replace my mortal family. In a sense of having a family. I never thought I have the chance again," she stated softly.

"I expect you to help me find my own definition of Ventrue and be apart of that family. Our family." She stated seriously. Sam was strong with her blood, he could see from the pictures.

"I'm not strong in the mind but I am strong in blood. Why must I pull the strings from behind the curtains? Why be the strings when I can be the loom?" The loom being fortitude.

Sam always had a niché when it came to the physical, even as a young child. Strong and built like her mortal father, minus the height thanks to her mother. And now Jake had gifted her with an amazing ability. One that complimented one of the few things she good at in her mortal life. Now she just needed his help to grow. And he so desperately needed her help to change for the better. Jake was trying harder than he had before and it was not lost on Sam.

[Black Philip]

Jake looked at the photos, and grimaced during it. He supposed he had to face his actions as he'd required Lazarus to do moments before, but the knowledge he was doing the right thing made it no easier. Her rebuttal about him caring about being Ventrue was mostly true. Should he tell her the full truth? Yes, he should.

"Sam, you are unique and different. Don't try to be a Windsor. I made that mistake with you when we started. You're more like a community organizer, a social worker. Ventrue lead, but in different ways. I'm the Black Prince. You're Sam from the Academy. Don't be me, be you. I admit I want a child who is closer to my personality in ways, but that's because I have you to challenge me and be different than me."

He also didn't like her saying she wasn't strong in the mind. It just wasn't true. He grew angry she saw herself that way. He hadn't done enough to show her otherwise. "You are plenty strong Sam. You lack confidence. The only person who sees you as weak is you. You have the body sure. I'm not saying ignore it, but have confidence you'll master your mind too. I have confidence in you about it. These things take time."

[Idrial]

It was comforting to hear he did not expect her to be like Queen Elizabeth's family and in Jakes' eyes, she was unique and different. How she would lead would be different and it felt wonderful for Jake to acknowledge that finally. It even touched her heart to hear she challenged him, perhaps he would not grow bored like his pre-descendants. The truth of him wanting a child closer to his personality did not sting, she was just happy to hear the truth.

"I will agree I lack confidence," nodding her head to him.

"I just don't like the uneven playing field being a vampire and being this young," she couldn't protect Jake from Lazarus. That reality hurt more than anything.

"I've knocked out men the size of Lazarus as a mortal. I feel constricted being a vampire maybe that's why I feel weak and no longer have the confidence I once had. Perhaps that is hampering my mental skills," holding his gaze waiting for him to speak.

[Black Philip]

Jake could relate to how Sam felt. It’s how he felt as a District Leader all the time. Charon was three-thousand. Zoheret had been a soldier of God and even in exile had great and terrible power. Sabrina was a witch, and not just a witch but a powerful one. Even this new Sarakiel guy was closer to Zoheret than him in power level. Lazarus had worked for him and been four times his better in power level.  Jake had cunning, money, loyalty of his people and plenty of them. In a one on one with any of the other leaders he was sure he’d perish. He’d had three hundred years on this earth and still felt like a weakling. Apparently, it was the price one paid for immortality. He share these thoughts with Sam, hoping it would show her that she wasn’t alone in feeling this way.

“We have to deconstruct the narrative that because they have age and power they’re better than us. That is the Anarch way.”

He wasn’t sure how much his daughter thought of herself as an Anarch. Did she know what it really meant? Did she understand that all of this was temporary? One day the Anarchs would rule this city, or be driven from it. If they ruled then one day it would be time for Jake to step down. If they were forced out, they’d start over again somewhere else.

“Give it time, and practice, practice, practice. I will help you.”

[Idrial]

"If I had a dollar every time someone said that to me I'd be fucking rich by now," half laughing half talking. He was not the first to say this to Sam over her lifetime.

It was true if she didn't practice she would get nowhere, she would become like Lazarus and be only half complete. If Jake believed that she could master her mind why doubt herself? After the faith she received from Jake it gave her hope, maybe now she wouldn't be so hard on herself. They sat in silence for a moment before Sam spoke again.

"May I ask why did you pick the name The Black Prince?" Feeling more comfortable around Jake to ask an intimate question.

[Black Philip]

Jake laughed along with her. He understood that feeling too. He told her it would get worse before it got better, but around the time she mastered her first Discipline it would begin to feel easier. He’d only just mastered Dominate twenty or so years ago. It took a long time to master the blood. At least they had eternity on their side. Her next question caught him a bit off guard and he tensed up in their embrace.

“I killed the Camarilla prince who ruled New York City in the 1920’s. He was a Ventrue like us. They say a vampire who kills another vampire is left with a black mark on them that can be seen when their aura is read. I don’t think it’s true, expect for diablerie. But when I assumed control of New York it became the first Anarch free state. Ten years later we fell to the Camarilla. I agreed to step down to save my people’s lives. During the ten years I ruled New York the citizens dubbed me the Black Prince. It was meant as an insult about how I came to power, but the joke was on them. I took that name and made it my own. Now, it’s a name that strikes fear into some, contempt in others, and yet mystery for the rest. It’s a name that’s suited me well.”

He hoped this would satisfy her curiosity. Monarchy was about smoke and mirrors, and being more of a legend than a real person. The title of the Black Prince helped to create that legend. It was a tool, the same as his sword.

[Idrial]

One thing had remained constant in Jake's life and it was violence. He did not have a good relationship with the vampire that raised him, it was sad. It was like the only thing he ever knew was war and violence, that desperately needed to change. Yes she understood as a vampire murder or suicide was the only way you could die, another negative for immortality. There was no peaceful way to go, fire, sunlight, beheading all a terrible death. They had the power to lessen their chances of being killed but there would always be war. Without war, there can be no peace. But the path for some normalcy of peace could be achieved. And if war should come, so be it.

It fed Sam's curiosity about him choosing his name. It didn't feed Sam's curiosity of how much of his own humanity had he lost?

"Jake what do you do to make yourself in tune with your mortal side? To stay near your own humanity?" Moving her arm around his shoulders and pulling him in close.

Sam wanted to contain the violence within Jake in a strange and calm way. Death should be a last resort, it seemed Jake used it as a middle ground in the past. This cycle had to end and perhaps he needed to be reminded of his mortal roots. Sam wanted to give him faith that he could grow and for the better. Sam would help him too. Just as Jake would help Sam master her disciplines.

[Black Philip]

Jake wasn't expecting that question. It wasn't one asked him very much. The truth was that he was sired so young, and had been through so much death and violence that it was all cloudy to him. He remembered flashes of who he had been, who Jacob had been. Was he funny? Was he kind? Was he the violent person Jake was? He didn't know. All he saw were faces, names, dates, and a timeline. Emotions, personality, perspective were all missing. He felt empty. He'd filled that emptiness with who he was as a vampire, but it wasn't a mortal life. It wasn't human. He didn't think he was inhumane. The beast was not in control. Perhaps there was more of who he was in him then he knew. That was a nice thought.

"I don't really remember my human self. I try to stay present in the world, in time. I care for my people, my family. I... love the arts. I don't know if that answers your question."

It was obvious she'd hit a sore spot, and he seemed to tense up horribly as he spoke. He should've told her that she made him feel connected to humanity, but in the moment it slipped his mind. 

[Idrial]

It was sad to hear he did not remember his mortal self, feeling him tense up around her body. If someone told Sam one day she be consoling Jake, she tell them to get off the drugs. Appreciating his honesty she shifted her self closer to Jake, nestling his head under her chin. Jake was not one to talk about his emotions and his bravery in sharing was admiral to Sam. There was hope for Jake he was not lost to the void, he merely needed to help him find his way back.

"Not quite," he spoke more of values than humanity. "But perhaps I can help you find that out," she said. Sacrifice who he was for who he would become, a comforting thought.

"You have done well with me Jake. I will learn from your mistakes and no matter how powerful I become I am still part human. I will not ever try to become something more than that." Her voice rang true into the night as she looked at the stars.

Her bones and flesh were of her mortal mother and father, her blood of Jake. Forever apart of two worlds that she would promise her best to balance the two out. For the sake of Jake she would be a the one to break the cycle of violence.

"You said you were into art? What kind of art?" Trying to lighten the mood a bit now before delving back into the more intimate matters. And she was genuinely curious Sam didn't know he was into art.

[Black Philip]

Sam needed to realize that she was no longer human. Vampires were monsters and only that realization kept those monsters from consuming who they were as a person. Jake may have struggled to connect with humanity, but to deny the beast, that was a true misstep. She would learn, and Jake regretted that it would likely come from a tragic moment. He would warn her of course, but not tonight. Tonight they were bonding. He nodded to her response, weakly smiling, and genuinely hoping she could help him connect with his past self. The art question felt like an attempt to lighten the mood, and Jake knew Sam already knew what kind of art he liked. She lived with him and the place was covered in it.

“Why don’t we go to the art gallery soon and we can just spend the day discussing that.”

It was also nice to have time with Sam that wasn’t training, or work, or fall out from the political bullshit that plagued both their lives. The idea of doing a father-daughter day at a museum or gallery actually helped me relax for a bit. He would wait for her reply, but would then break from their embrace, looking at her concerned.

“I cut off Lazarus’s hand that had his ring. Sabrina has it currently. Then I Dominated him and banished him forever. Sabrina thinks he’ll outsmart my Dominate command but I think he’s gone for good. If he tries to reenter the city he’ll double over in pain. It’s not perfect. Some wanted him dead. Others wanted me to cut his dick off. I chose to show him mercy. Can you understand that?”

[Idrial]

If Sam could tell Jake she had fallen to the beast as a mortal perhaps he would realize humans could be monsters too. Anyone could be a monster no matter the species, she had beaten that part of her back over the years. She did not want to fall back into that person she was in her early years, an uncontrolled whore for violence. Sam did not deny the beast that dwelled within, in fact, she could feel a much stronger hunger surging through her veins. Yet she defied the beast the chance to have control over her life, to willingly give into those darker urges that plagued their kind.

Sam had better control than most her age, controlling her temptations as a vampire proved challenging, but she had practice throughout her mortal years and her triggers remained similar being a vampire. In battling the beast Sam chose to stay in touch with to her humanity, never letting go of her mortal lessons. If Sam should fall to the beast she had solace knowing she had done everything to stay the beast. Everyone fell to temptation one way or another and Sam would be no exception.

Instead, she smiled when Jake suggested the attend an art gallery together, she did know some art Jake was into but not all of it. She nodded happily at the idea but that would end as Jake pulled away. From the look on his face, Sam could tell something was wrong and boy was she ever right. Her eyes went wide as Jake explained what happened, her blood ran cold for a moment.

"Jake, what happened that you had to cut off his hand?" Having a feeling she was missing something.

Laming Lazarus even for that stupid ring didn't seem like a mercy. Something had happened and Sam wanted the whole story before she would agree with Jake. Every situation was different and Sam did not want to stick her foot in her mouth. Especially when Jake was feeling so vulnerable and exposed, she needed to tread carefully with Jake and not ruin their moment of bonding time.

[Black Philip]

Jake looked at Sam gravely, his face taking on a heavy shadow. He had no regret about taking Lazarus's hand. If he'd had to kill him to stop his attempted murder he would've. He would never forgive the ancient for that. Lisa-Joe was also furious at him for not killing the ancient. He wondered what Sam would think of that fact. Perhaps she could validate his decision or point out the error.

"He was trying to kill Lisa-Joe. I cut off his hand to stop him, both to get it off her head, but also to get rid of the ring so I could Dominate him. She thinks I should've killed him. What do you think?"

She assumed her daughter would advocate mercy. He loved that about her. Then again, Lazarus had raped her sire and her employer and just tried to kill her auntie. Even Sam had limited patience he assumed. All vampires had a beast.

[Idrial]

Sam closed her eyes and sighed deeply, her hand resting on her forehead. Lazarus had chance after chance and for the attempted murder of Lisa-Joe was the last straw. Sam still believed death was too good for Lazarus, cutting his hand off still didn't sit well with Sam. However, Lazarus made his choice, this could have ended differently. A chopped off hand seemed the lesser of two evils. Her hand going from her forehead to Jakes' hand, squeezing it gently as she gave her opinion.

"Lazarus had every opportunity to have a better outcome, mercy cannot be applied here. Mercy is when you forgive someone and Lazarus cannot be forgiven, we gave him an inch and he took a mile." Her tone was sour as she spoke of Lazarus.

"You picked the lesser of two evils, death is too good for him," praising him with a smile.

"As for your command, I think a blood hunt would be an added extra. Just within the city limits if he returns. Say he does find a way around your command, we need our bases covered." She knew a few people who would like to pound Lazarus into the ground.

A blood hunt meant certain death for Lazarus should he return to the city, no more freebies for the disgusting man. Jake has spared his life and he should stay far away as possible.

[Black Philip]

A blood hunt wasn’t a bad idea. But putting Lazarus’s face on a wanted poster might attract more negative attention. He already knew the west had those who were unhappy with Anarch rule, and with the new District Leader in the north making zero attempts to establish relations he had to assume he meant him hostility. Now was not the right time for a hunt. However, it didn’t mean that one could not be readied in case Lazarus did return.

“I will draft one up,” he informed her. “However, we will hold on implementing it for a few days. Let’s let news of his banishment reach spread and see what reaction we get. There is a new leader in the North and rumblings in the west. We need to be careful.”

The stars were suddenly obscured by one of the storm clouds from earlier. The moon strained against the cloud’s darkness, and a lighting bolt shot down in the Central District. “Jesus,” Jake called out, pointing out the light show to Sam. “That was near the old chambers I think.”

[Idrial]

Sam grinned when Jake took her suggestion and she had no objections to waiting a few days. He was right the unrest in the North and the West they couldn't be too careful, bridges needed to be mended in the West. The North she wondered what Saraekiel was thinking? In a way he pulled a Jake with taking the North under everyone's noses, people would not be happy. Shae was going to probably kill him, she would have to pay the shifter a visit and soon. Heavens knows Shae was terrified of the idea of vampires having clans, perhaps she would want protection from the consequences of Saraekiel's actions.

Sam was suddenly ripped away from her thoughts as Jake cried out and pointed to the lightening show. Wow could they really be lucky and get a thunderstorm tonight?

"I think your right Jake," she grinned at him.

"Where I grew up sometimes we get orange or red lightning. Depending on the moisture, dust or haze in the air that night." Reminiscing the memory.

The environment and weather was different here, close to the ocean and much more humid than back home. Some things were the same as the cold winters and hot summers, more days humid than dry depending on the area of the city you are in. Their thunderstorms were just as fierce if not worse due to the humidity and their hailstorms could be legendary. The tornados were rare here like in her area back home, that was a tense night. Hail was uncommon in her area back home, her first hailstorm here took out windows. That was an exhilarating night for Sam, Maria would have disagreed.

[Black Philip]

Jake listened as Sam spoke about her past. He wondered what it would be like to have known her then. In some ways, watching her tell the story about the lightning gave him a clue. It was odd that the lightning would strike when it did. It was only a bit before dawn now and the storm from the earlier part of the night had mostly given way. Perhaps that was the last strike on conflict in the night. Perhaps stormy skies would give way to the sun.

Jake had originally planned to come up here after the trial and wait for sunrise, greet it as a friend. He could probably have seen it rise above the horizon and see about half of it until it’s rays hit him and turned him to ash. So much had changed in such a short period of time. Now was the real question. Should he tell Sam about it or not? He decided to tell her indirectly.

“Sometimes I wish I could just stay up here and watch the sun rise. I set up a camera once to film it. It was truly beautiful, but it wasn’t the same as the real thing. I know it would mean my end, but sometimes I think it would be worth it to have that human experience one last time.”

He looked lost in thought. He wouldn’t kill himself now. Charon, Sabrina, Murphy, Sam and frankly himself had convinced him otherwise. He had stuff to live for.

[Idrial]

Jakes words mulled around in Sam's head as he explained his desire of seeing the sun rise one more time. Confusion entered her head swirling around like rapids in her mind, something didn't sit right with how Jake spoke, what did he mean? To have that human experience one more time? Did he want to die?! Is that why Jake brought themselves to this place to say good-bye? Sam gave him a hard stare before looking out to the clouds.

"Suicide doesn't end with you it just passes your problems to someone else," her voice hard as stone.

"If this is why you brought me here to say good-bye I won't let you. I will tie you up and throw you in the cells." Almost barking at him now.

Sam although deduced Jake wanted to kill himself but she had mistaken that no longer felt this way to due certain people. Shaking from anger that he would think this was a good idea. To just leave her after she thought Jake and her would patch things up. And yet this was just him saying good-bye?! Furiously pulling away from Jake as a lump formed in her throat. She did not want to be an orphan again, yes Scott and Lisa-Joe would care for her but it wouldn't be the same.

[Black Philip]

Sam was more perceptive than Jake had given her credit. She clearly saw through his veiled language. He felt bad that she thought that's why they were up here. If he had planned to follow through with his desire for self annihilation he wouldn't have cruelly forced Sam to say goodbye like this. He looked at her, letting the negativity wash out of him into the night.

"I'll admit that when things got really bad I considered it. You were upset with me. I had lost so much. I felt... I felt like I had nothing to live for. I know that's not true now, but it's where my head was. It was Charon and Sabrina that convinced me otherwise. Tell them thank you when you see them, even if they don't know why."

He pulled out his gold cigarette case, retrieved from Lazarus's cell when he was brought over. He hadn't had time to roll new ones and so he'd bought a pack of Red Apples on his way over. He would hand one to Sam and then placed one in his mouth. He didn't have a lighter so a pack of matches was used. As he struck the stick, he marveled at how dangerous fire was to vampires. It had been the fire that had called to him.

"I'm not going anywhere," he assured her.

[Idrial]

The negativity that washed over Sam was amplified when Jake added his own through the bond, feeling bad she accepted the cigarette without much force. Things did get bad and she chose not to give Jake the benefit of the doubt, a hasty decision she would regret. The flame caught Sam's attention just like Jake, perhaps they weren't so different in a few things. She used Jakes flame to light her smoke, inhaling and exhaling with the smoke rolling out of her mouth and nose. She owed him an explanation to Jake why she ran into Maria's arms.

"I thought you were turning back into the old you, that mean, distant and cold you. I didn't understand till after Dr. Barrows testimony that was you crying for help." Her hand was shaking from all the negativity rushing into Sam.

"I didn't want to be associated with someone who only loves the idea of me, rather than the person I am. It's why I ran to Maria in my state," the one person she knew without a doubt loved Sam.

Ben had said she had friends and that she could run too, he had been wrong. For eighteen months she held the White Rabbit on her own, Ben had become a friend in that time yes. Though she could not call upon him for if the Second Inquisition had come, that would put him in danger. She could not call upon Charon either still feeling awkward after she was let go by their family, that seemed so long ago. Saraekiel nor Shae until now didn't have the power to help Sam, no it was only Maria that could have protected Sam.

[Black Philip]

Jake frowned deeply. Sam didn't even know the old him, not really. He'd chilled a lot since the 1920's, and his overall level of violence had never been lower. The Sabbat and the Camarilla had both been enemies of war, and so Jake had not mourned the fall of either. The demons of the west however, were a more mixed bag. Only a few leaders had been dealt with, maybe a couple of captains. It was regrettable that they became violent when told them of the annexation. Most had accepted the transition, but a few groups attacked. The fire demon had been one. Jake fought him honorably. The vampire had hoped he'd surrender but he'd been foolish and gotten too close. To save his own life, Jake killed him by turning on a sprinkler. Then there was the weather demon. That one Jake had been informed about. He wasn't present for the noble warrior's death. That loss had angered some, and the black prince thought it a regrettable loss of life.

Jake knew Sam would never understand that sort of thing. She was too pure obviously, and Jake had to protect her. He hugged his fledge once more, wanting to help her realize it was all going to be alright. He liked Maria, and found her spirit very Anarch. She would make a fine Keeper, and he was going to ask her to secure the Rabbit with magic the way Sabrina had secured Venture. He'd thought about asking his witch-mother for assistance, but the trial had been a big ask, and they were going to work on the ring together. He knew she was a busy lady, and never wanted to monopolize her time. Besides, the Keeper's job was to secure Elysium from harm. He couldn't think of a better test.

"Now I get Maria too. How lucky am I?" He hoped to brighten her mood. They'd won the day. He wasn't dying. They were smoking together at the top of the world, waiting for the sun to rise. They'd have to head in somewhat soon, but had time to talk for a little more. Jake would let the farthest horizon turn pink, before taking Sam by the hand and leading her inside. They'd have to daysleep there, but Jake had been counting on it. He'd missed the Dante's Inferno.

[Idrial]

"Maria has always balanced me out since we have met, she even helped me after my family died. Made sure I got the things I needed even if I didn't think I needed them, she's treated me like her own long lost tribe," inhaling in her smoke again as Jake wrapped himself around her.

How long had the two known each other? Was at least over a decade, maybe closer to fifteen years? It seemed a long time for a mortal but she was no longer and yet time moved the same speed for the two. Even their time apart after Maria finished her bachelor degree at the university seemed short. It didn't feel like she had been gone long to that medical facility outside of the city to study to be a healer, glad that she was back now. Glad that Maria was there too offer a position of service and not be an opportunity for power games, the greatest protection of all.

"She is the only one who has been their for both my mortal and immortal life. Not many can say that these days," Maria was special to Sam and the feelings were the same for Maria.

"You should interact with her more, she can be cold and aloof but that's just because of her past," leaving it at that for now.

Maria was a private person about her past, but with Jake and even Lisa-Joe she be more open should a connection be established. Maria had a hard life and past and she would understand what Jake was going through, she even offer him advice. Perhaps she would do a reading with Roog on Jake? That was something the two should talk about, perhaps he was not as bad as a person that everyone claimed him to be. And no one would be stupid enough to deny the divines decision, not even Ben.

[Black Philip]

Jake listened as Sam spoke about Maria, and wasn't jealous. He was happy Sam had someone so special who understood her. Jake had struggled to connect with his fledge at first, and it warmed him to know she wasn't alone during that period. He owed Maria a big thanks, and hiring her as Keeper was only the first step.

"I promise to spend some good time with her soon, especially if I know it will make you happy. Would you be willing to spend time with Murphy Hilton? I like him a lot."

He smiled shyly.

[Idrial]

She was surprised to hear Jake liked Murphy, she had only met him twice, but he did make a good impression. Sam wished she met him under circumstances that weren't awkward as fuck. She was happy to spend some time with Jake and Murphy, perhaps his emotional time with Lazarus would be healed sooner rather than later.

"I promise to spend time with Murphy," a grin on her face looking at Jake.

"Just don't start a relationship because you think there is no one else or because you think someone will take him away from you," patting his hand tenderly.

"Take it slow. But upfront with him and take the time to talk about what you both want IF you both choose to be more than friends," her voice sweet towards Jake as she gave him her advice.

Whether Jake took Sam's advice or not was his choice, but from what she had seen with Lazarus and their whirlwind of a fuck fest and submission bullshit didn't work. Lazarus could never understand one could not bow in a relationship, it was a two way street for both parties involved. And it was not always fifty-fifty, sometimes you have to step up and take up the eighty percent to give your partner a chance if things went south or vice verse. However that would not last and it always goes back to being fifty-fifty, and the relationship would be stronger than before.

[Black Philip]

Jake felt relief at talking with Sam about his aspects of his personal life. He realized how guarded he'd been over the years, regretting not asking her advice about Lazarus. Perhaps if he had, this whole fiasco could've been avoided. Then again, would he have taken it if it was given? He shook that thought away, and looked at the sky. It was slightly less dark. It was time to go inside. His temptation to wait just five more minutes was deterred by his love for Sam. They wouldn't be waiting for the sunrise today, and Jake hoped that as long as they had each other it would never come.

"I'm seeing him tomorrow," he explained. We're going to have a talk about everything, including Lazarus. I'll let you know how it goes," he promised. "Come child, it's time to rest."

With that, Jake headed into the Dante's Inferno to sleep. Sam's room was still set up much the way it was before they left. 

[Idrial]

Sam hoped that Jake and Murphy could work things out between the two of them, he seemed like a nice man and maybe he could be a good influence on Jake. Sam knew Jake needed more people like that in his life, he had gained Maria through Sam and now she wondered if Murphy would join? Or would he run due to the shit show with Lazarus? She didn't know but she hoped for the best and prepared herself for the worst, she would help Jake heal, again.

"You know I'm only a text or phone call away if things do not go as planned or get too hard," giving him the option to reach out to Sam.

Jake had mentioned it was time to sleep and Sam was hesitate to return downstairs, let alone sleeping here for the day. When she got to her room it was like walking back in time, she had so little belongings here. Nothing sentimental at all it just felt hollow and empty. At first, Sam tried to sleep but couldn't even with the sun coming up, grabbing a pillow and a blanket she went to Jakes room. Knocking on the door before entering with an unsettling look on her face.

"Jake... can I sleep with you just this one time," probably aware that this place didn't sit well with Sam through their bond.

[Black Philip]

Jake was settling into his old bed, and finding it very comfortable, when he heard Sam approach. Her request was a little bizarre, as Jake only slept next to men he was involved with. He could sense her trouble with the Dante’s Inferno, and it didn’t surprise him that much. They’d been through difficult times here. He felt uncomfortable at the idea of sharing a bed with Sam. It felt like a boundary violation in some ways, but he also didn’t want to dismiss her all together.

“Sam, I think it’s time you face this discomfort you feel and grow from it. This place can only haunt you if you let it,” he said encouragingly. “The you and I that lived before are gone now. We’ve grown since then. It’s those old memories you fear, not here. We’ll check in first thing when we wake. Now, as your maker I suggest you go back to your room.”

With that he laid down and went off to sleep.

[Idrial]

Sam knew Jake was right this place did haunt her and he was spot on about it being the old memories that seem to linger here, she nodded her head but not in defeat. Closing the door while saying goodnight to Jake and returning to her own bedroom, a huge sigh falling out of her lips. Why could she still feel the old Sam and Jake here? It was like an ill omen, yes Jake was right they were no longer those people but something didn't sit right with Sam. Maybe Sam would get Maria to check it out, or was she overthinking this whole thing when it was just the bloody past. Shaking her head as she crawled into bed her limbs and eyes now feeling heavy, the sun had climbed its way into the day.

Sam had trouble falling asleep and then staying asleep. She had some nightmares that plague her mind, nothing serious more annoying than anything. She didn't cry out to Jake merely turning over in her bed and letting sleep take hold before it was interrupted again.

(((END)))