It didn't feel so different from the usual. He fought against his overwhelming desire to submit too readily but this was Jake he was with and he wanted to please him. He and Jake were used to the roles they'd been assigned. At one point, in the past, Ben had been almost an equal. Almost. Groomed for equality, certainly. It was almost too much to believe he could be there again; even though Jake was promising that and speaking about claiming him back from Lazarus, he still felt like it was a pipe dream.
When Jake reached between his legs and kneaded him, Ben grunted, unable to stop himself from vocalising the sensation. He frowned, the pressure maddening in the middle of strong kisses. Then he was lowered onto the bed and held in place. A typical occurrence. He couldn't remember ever being touched gently.
He wrapped his arms around Jake, a familiar body, a familiar touch. A part of him almost expected Lazarus to be cooing over them, to get himself involved somehow. But no, he wasn't here. Ben looked up at Jake before his ex (and soon to be returned?) lover kissed his neck.
Bizarredly, he felt sad. It felt like a shell around his heart; a thin surface that could hopefully be crunched away and broken up if Jake could find the right combination. Was it really up to him, though?
"I was happy with you," Ben admitted. For a while, anyway.