A Lovers Intervention

[sully]

Continued from D.A.R.E. to Dream
Reserved for Ari/Black Phillip

The two lovers rode in silence the entire trip, neither looking at the other for fear of what might be said. Royce rolled down the window, took out a cigarette, blowing the smoke out the window. The last thing he needed was Ari to get mad about him smoking up the car, but the sick anticipation of what was to come required nicotine. And Royce had never been good at going without. He stared out at the City moving past them, enjoying the breeze born from the car's speed. The weather had shifted, the previous rain giving way to a crisp fall night. Other lovers walked the streets, holding hands and embracing one other, sharing words that Royce could not hear. When was the last time he and Ari had done something like this? Even with his banishment, it had been nearly a decade since they'd shared such closeness.

And Royce knew it was all on him. It was his fear that continually stopped them from truly admitting what they were to each other. From admitting how much they meant to each other... Royce felt tears start to build at the corners of his eyes but he fought them off. Now wasn't the time. And he didn't want Ari thinking he was just crying to get out of what happened. Why was he so stupid as to think he could go and buy Venom without any repercussions? Why did he even want to get involved in that shit anyway?

"I need to purge this memory"... Royce wondered how many times Ari had already done this to him... How much of his memory, his life was missing? But as soon as he questioned this idea, he brushed it aside. While he didn't like the idea of having moments of his life stolen from him, Ari would never take anything unless there was no other option. He knew this to be true, all tied to the singular truth he had known since the moment he'd met Ari; that Ari loved him, wholly and completely. And how had Royce repaid him? With four centuries of cleaning up after him, treating him more as a misbehaved puppy than the lover he wanted. Royce had won the lottery and found the perfect man who loved him despite all of his many faults and yet he could never reciprocate. In a moment of fear and despair he realized he'd never even told Ari that he loved him. He was sure Ari had felt it through the bond before, but it still meant something to say the words out loud. What a fucking mistake of a person he was...

As Ari pulled into the motel, Royce flicked his cigarette out of the car and waited for the car to roll to a stop. He waited patiently for Ari's direction, not wanting to cause him any more trouble at this point.

[Black Philip]

Ari was experiencing more intense emotion than he had in over a hundred years. For some reason, this was worse than the incident that cause Royce's banishment, although why he didn't know. His unfamiliarity with the intensity of what he was feeling was coming out in nervous twitching of his fingers and eyebrows, a tapping of his free foot, and constant quick stares at Royce. Somehow, Ari feared his little dove would be gone, back with that horrid snake demon, or in worse places. He wanted to scream, but such an act was hardly appropriate for a car ride. No, for now he had to sit with his emotions, and he resented Royce for inflicting them. Still, his primary focus was on his worry about what would happen if Charon ever found out about this. Once again, Royce was forcing Ari to choose between him and the rest of the family, and once again Ari was choosing Royce.

They reached the Detour motel, and Ari pulled up to the main office. He turned off the engine and slowly turned his body to face the little upstart. His eyes could've broken glass with a mere look.

"I'm going to get us a room," he said, voice so controlled and quiet that it was obviously stifling something horrid. "Remain in the car, speak to no one, and in fact, don't move at all."

He resisted the urge to back this command up with mental force. He had no reason to trust Royce at this point, but something about how he was sitting led Ari to believe he wanted to stay. There was a timidity in the boy that seemed to mirror Ari's unfamiliar cyclothymia. They were both on different ground than normal. Ari opened the door, his heavy boots concussing the sidewalk as he made his way into the motel's cheep office. Getting a room took no time at all, and a quick memory wipe ensured the clerk wouldn't remember Ari's face. With a pair of room keys in hand, the ancient returned to the vehicle.

Royce was still there. Miracles do happen. "We're around back," Ari related, restarting the engine and pulling around to the appropriate part of the parking lot. Ari didn't pull Royce at the wrist, although that was his first instinct, but quickly moved him towards the room. "And as an extra hell, I got us a nonsmoking room. Give them to me."

Ari had always hated Royce's disgusting habit. It felt almost petty to take them, but Ari couldn't trust Royce not to smoke. His child would do it out of spite if he got the chance. He wondered if that was Royce's point; spite. Ari reflected he'd have an opportunity to ask soon enough.

[sully]

Royce trailed slowly behind Ari as they walked towards their room. At the mention of the non-smoking room, Royce rolled his eyes slightly, and became more annoyed when Ari demanded his cigarettes. Despite knowing their current situation and the stress Ari was dealing with was because of him, he couldn't help letting a little of his rebellious nature shine through. He nodded at Ari, took out a cigarette from the pack, and handed the rest to Ari. "Mind if I finish this one before we go in?" he said as he lit the cigarette, handing the lighter over to Ari after he took a drag. Royce moved over to the windows gazing into their motel room and propped himself up against the wall, making it clear he inteded to stay in line of sight. Didn't matter to him if Ari waited here with him or went inside, but he wanted another dose of nicotine before having to deal with what was to come.

Royce took his time finishing his cigarette, gazing at Ari while he did so, scanning him up and down. It was the first time he'd seen Ari flustered like this and while he was nervous about what it would entail, he did enjoy seeing the life radiating from him. All the other members of the Sacraement loved to praise Ari for his stoic nature, his ability to keep calm under any circumstance. But Royce had always known better. Ari's ability to compose himself was also a curse, leaving him with little ability to enjoy anything. A stoic, boring mute. In a way, Royce thought he probably did half the things he did just to get a reaction out of Ari. To see that spark of life that Royce loved more than anything.

But that also left Royce scared of what will happen once Royce was gone. He knew the past five years had been hell for Ari and couldn't imagine what the rest of his life would be like without him. Royce usually though in these terms to himself. He'd accepted long ago that he wasn't long for this earth. It had simply been the circumstances of his birth, no way of changing that. And while he'd lived far, far longer than he ever believed, he knew in his heart he'd meet the true death before Ari. His tendency for self-destruction left him at much higher risk of death than his sire. Besides... Royce couldn't even imagine a world without Ari... And he didn't dare to.

Taking one final drag from the cigarette, Royce flicked it and sent it pinwheeling through the air and onto the asphalt of the parking lot. Royce took a deep breath, composing himself, and entered the motel room, ready to accept his fate.

[Black Philip]

Ari was lived Royce felt the need to have a smoke at this exact moment. His dependency was entirely psychological. Vampires couldn't even feel nicotine! However, of course Royce had convinced himself otherwise, and persisted in carrying on as if his body had any real addictions or aliments. He had only one, the blood, and had decided of his own accord to take on others. Ari contrasted to himself; a boring, good looking yes man who was nothing if not loyal. How had he ended up with the exact opposite for a fledge? He bitterly remembered insisting it would be good for the family, and him personally, to have some excitement around, but Royce had been more than intended.

Ari let him have his stupid smoke. If it was going to improve Royce's mood for the upcoming conversation all the better. After Ari let them into the first floor room, he sat in a cheap looking wooden desk, complete with a yellow pages and an old rotary phone. The elder would let Royce choose his own place, a window seal being Ari's guess. If not, there was a queen bed with a pink floral bedspread, hideously suggesting at what happened between the sheets.

Once his child was sitting, Ari ran his hands down his face, looking at Royce with weary. "Please, explain to me what I witnessed just now, and for your own sake, don't lie to me."

Ari had calmed down since the car, that shaky, scary tone gone, and his natural, laid back baritone had returned.  The huntsman didn't sound content by any means, just past the active stage where he wanted to commit diablerie. His expression was like stone, unknowable and unforgiving.   

[sully]

Royce locked the door behind him as he entered the room. He glanced at Ari as he walked over to the windowsill, placing one leg on the sill, while leaving the other dangling slightly. His sire’s expression was one he was familiar with. The intense, fiery anger had been new, but the stoic disappointment wasn’t. It always made an appearance during one of these dressing downs.

Taking a deep breath, Royce began to explain; “A few weeks back I started hearing rumors about a new drug that’d come to town. A high better than any other. I asked my... contacts if they knew how to get it. Most of them had no clue, but one girl told me it was only being sold by a demon in the West District. A little more digging got me to the Scarei and I set up a meeting...” the explanation was all true, only a small amount of fudging on who exactly Royce’s “contacts” were, although he wouldn’t hide it from Ari’s mental analysis.

Unsure of what else to say, Royce shrugged and simply said “Just wanted to see what all the buzz was about...”

[Black Philip]

Ari was uncomfortable in the desk chair, the seat not being quite right for his size. He assumed that was the source of his squirming legs, not the infuriating conduct of Royce. His face remained the same slab of stone as Royce explained his position. Ari found it was careless, free of consideration for anyone but himself. The selfishness of his actions were more offending than the original crime. When he mentioned the buzz, Ari couldn't help but assume he was making a drug pun.

"Where did you first hear about these... snake demons," he chewed out.

[sully]

"Demons throw the best parties. So I made a point of "befriending" a few of the mortals in the West District to make sure I'm aware of any events worth crashing. Haven't found any worth the trouble so far though... So once I found out the drug was coming from a snake demon, it wasn't hard to reach out to some of these mortals and score a meeting." Royce finished speaking and stared blankly back at Ari. At this point, he wasn't sure what else his sire wanted to know. This wasn't an attempt to undermine the family or make some deal with the demons. This was his life and he was living it how he wanted to. Why was it Ari or anyone else's business who he scored from? Not like he was going to make that creepy snake his new BFF.

"I don't know what else I can tell you. All I know is that him and a few other of his kind have appeared in the city recently. Supposedly starting some sort of gang, but I couldn't give two shits about demon politics. It's not like I went and asked Zeus about it." Royce began to chew absently at his nails, a habit from his mortal life that he'd still been unable to quit. He enjoyed the feel of his fang clicking against the nail bud, slicing off tiny slivers that fell onto the windowsill. At this point, Royce knew he just needed to wait out Ari's temper and annoyance until he eventually gave up and let it go. He always did...

[Black Philip]

Why Royce's primary motivation was to attend the best parties, Ari truly didn't understand. Parties were things that served specific purposes, not every night events. Charon's party to announce Sabrina was an example of the proper use of a celebration. She, and the family, had achieved great success. Royce hadn't achieved anything beyond being a vampire. As to the information regarding a new demon gang, Ari merely flared his nostrils and snorted. The Sacrament had no business getting involved with demon gangs. It would play right into McCloud's hands to say that the west was still lawless, and if a member of the family was connected to them it could ruin Charon's carefully crafted neutrality. Ari got up from his seat and tossed the chair at the wall. It shattered on contact, and damaged the wall paper.

"You will not ask Zeus anything! Only Charon, Jeanne, Felecia or myself have that privilege, and even I would approve my communications with Charon first. This family has a way of operating, and you seem to take the stance that if we wish something of you that you need to do the opposite. I half theorize if I told you to do drugs and party you'd become studious and responsible. What have I done to you that's earned your eternal disrespect?"

He was screaming now, and he closed the gap between them quickly, grabbing Royce by his shirt and pulling him close. Even with his anger, Ari still wanted to kiss those lips, stroke Royce's hair, and hold him close. He knew his love had made him weak to Royce's bullshit, and for the first time in a long time, Ari was pushing past those feelings to make his point.

[sully]

”Disrespect?? You think I live my life simply to disrespect you? You really think I act solely to give you a headache? I live my life how I want to. How you choose to feel about it is your own problem.” In truth, Royce knew that there was a part of him that constantly went against what was asked because he enjoyed pressing Ari’s buttons. And in a sick way he was addicted to Ari’s forgiveness, his ability to always see the best in him, even when Royce couldn’t. But he also would not be told by anyone, not even the love of his life, what his motives were. His reasons and his choices were his own and no creature on this plane or any other could dictate that.

Royce flickered briefly and with blinding speed, escaped from Ari’s grasp and moved to the other side of the room. “And if you really want to talk about respect, it would be fucking respectful if you listened to me for a change. I never had any intention of speaking with Zeus. I’m not an idiot Ari, I know what would happen. I know what I can do and what I can’t do. But I also know that the line between is thicker and greyer than you’d like to admit.” Tears had began appearing at the edge of Royce’s eyes as he continued to yell at his sire. The pain and loneliness of the last 5 years was threatening to explode from him. “You think Charon has all the answers. That his word is law. But 3,000 years of experience doesn’t mean he knows everything, that his judgement is always the right course. All Charon cares about is controlling us. Controlling us and using us for his ends and his alone. He can talk about the family all he wants, but it’s clear it’s all for him. We’re just... pawns...”

Royce sunk to his knees on the floor, tears now streaming from his eyes. “When I... when I accepted the bite, I thought I’d finally be free. I’d get to live the life I couldn’t while I was alive. That I could finally make something of myself. But all anyone else sees is a mistake. A failure... So i’m sorry. I’m sorry i’m not perfect Ari. I’m sorry I’m not a perfect Sacrament vampire like Hugh. I’m sorry I make things difficult... but it’s all I know how to do...” Royce continued to sob, gazing down at the floor, unable to look at his sire.

[Black Philip]

The fit being thrown by this vampiric toddler was painfully obvious, as it was selfish. All of this talk about "my life," as if his individuality was all that mattered, showed how little Royce thought of others. Ari was especially made bitter by this train of thought, for Royce's need to be seen as independent had kept their relationship permanently on hold. Ari had fallen for the brief moments where Royce talked about moving forward, only for him to run away again the next night. He just couldn't commit. Royce had never even said "I love you Ari." On some level the ancient one knew his child loved him. There was only so much that could be hidden from their bond, but the fact that he still refused to say it was a source of grief.

As to his comments about Charon, Ari would have to act quickly.

"You must realize that he comes from a darker and bloodier world than you. I remember that world, for I was made in it's twilight. He'd changed so much recently, but he is still who he is, and always will be. He has crafted us with purpose and practice, keeping his lineage close, and safe. The clans don't even have that kind of unity."

He was speaking softer now, but his expression was as angry as the moment before. "I don't want you to be like Hugh. If I wanted a Hugh in my life I'd sire one. I sired you, but this idea that you can't at least play by the rules isn't sustainable. If you just did half of what I asked you'd be left alone. Felecia has her own world, and yet shows up when asked. Jeanne is a nightlife person, and Venture's success is the marrying of her ideas and her work ethic. Can't you find a way to serve the family, contribute, without giving up this life you claim I'm trying to steal. I had no idea I was such a poor maker that you regret your embrace."

Royce hadn't said that exactly, but it's how the comments made Ari feel. His anger turned towards something more like self pity.

[sully]

As always, Ari was being sensible, despite his anger, but Royce wanted nothing to do with it. He was continuing to treat him like a child throwing a tantrum, which in reality he kind of was, but Royce still felt that he wasn't being taken seriously. It all came so easy to Ari, following orders and working within the lines Charon gave him. He couldn't seem to understand how hard it was for Royce to do it. Although it's not like he tried too hard to change. And he had no idea where he'd start...

At the suggestion that Ari was the reason for his lamentation, Royce sunk to the floor, and ran his fingers through his hair, his back leaning against the wall. "That's not it... you... you're the reason why I took the embrace. And you're the thing that makes up for all the other shitty aspects." Royce softly thumped his head against the wall and met his sire's eye for the first time in awhile. Tears were still stinging at the edges of Royce's eyes, but the anger and the bitterness had begun to fade from his face. None of this mattered. He didn't feel remorse for what he did, but he could at least accept that it had caused Ari a great deal of trouble and he felt terrible for that. Like he always did.

Royce sighed and said "Look, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have gone to buy V. It was dangerous and stupid to meet with the snake demon. I just... I don't know, I thought I could make it work without causing you or anyone else any trouble. But obviously I was wrong. I'm sorry." Royce continued biting his nails anxiously, desperately wishing he could have a smoke. "So, what do we do now?"

[Black Philip]

Ari had always struggled to see Royce in pain, and he fell for it like a spell that explained everything. He imagined Charon saw this as a weakness, and he knew on some level he was letting himself be manipulated by a talented actor, but the ancient didn't care. He wanted more than anything to hear the words Royce said now.

you're the reason why I took the embrace

The tears were a nice effect, the raw emotion coming through their bond. It was a perfect storm for Ari's mood to turn, and luckily for Royce it did. He moved in and scooped up his love, lying him back on the bed. He hovered above for a moment, his own desire prompting a physical response. The ancient knew it was not all as simple as he was making it now, but the bulk of his rage had softened into concern. Royce had once again cast his spell.

He laid down next to Royce as opposed to on top of him, and gently played with his waves and curls. "I need to wipe your memory of this day," Ari informed. It was the only way to cloak this incident from others. Hugh was Royce's better mentally, and his two peers in the family would be able to sense it too. Lastly, while Ari didn't imagine Charon wanted to know what was in Royce's filthy mind, there was always the chance that his grandsire would see what had occurred. Royce had to be cleaned up mentally.

Ari moved his head to find Royce's eyes, needing to know how he was reacting to this information. Ari sent his concern and caring through the bond, hoping to soften the blow.

[sully]

Royce met his sire's gaze, no fear or anger in them, just simple acceptance. He trusted his sire completely and would do or accept anything he asked of him. It had been this way even before he was sired. Despite his penchant for rebellion and his semi-frequent disregarding of Ari's instructions, he would never do anything to truly jeopardize their relationship or Ari's standing in the family. And yet... he had. He'd done it five years ago with that girl and he was slowly beginning to realize he'd done the same now. No matter how small the act of buying V felt to him, it was clear Ari didn't see it that way. And it was becoming even more clear that the family would see it the same way Ari did. Royce let out a short sigh and reached out to clasp his sire's hand in his. He turned his gaze out the window where the black clouds had started to part, revealing the dazzling brilliance of the stars and the glow of the moon. Royce nestled his head into the crook of Ari's neck and sat quietly for a few minutes, knowing that soon this moment would fade in his memory and wanted to soak in it as much as he can.

As he gazed out and felt Ari's skin against his, a question nagged at the back of his mind. Though he wasn't sure Ari would answer, Royce still felt it was important to ask. Quietly he asked "How many times have you wiped my memory?" It wasn't an accusation or attack, simply a question asked out of curiosity. With Royce's past, it was only logical that Ari might of had to do this before and for good reason. It'd always be for a good reason... Royce thought absently to himself. And he believed it. He couldn't fathom that Ari would ever take a memory from him that wasn't more important to erase for his and their safety. If so then... well then Royce didn't want to remember. Life was complicated and hard, especially for the undead. In his heart he knew he'd rather believe until his final days that Ari would never betray him that consider the opposite for a moment.

[Black Philip]

Ari sighed. He wondered if he should tell Royce the truth. He wondered if should tell Royce he always asked this question, each time it had happened. He decided, as he had all the other times, that it didn't matter since he'd forget it soon anyways.

"Seven," he said simply. "I was planning on doing it again the night you murdered that girl, but it got away from me. Besides, I wondered... if I was really helping you by just deleting the memory of that. I hoped that you might learn that there are consequences for your actions."

He wanted Royce to grow up and be the man Ari knew his lover could be. "I take no pleasure in it," he clarified, pulling Royce even closer, and squeezing him with vampiric strength. "I'm just scared I'll lose you."

[sully]

Royce melted into his sire's embrace, smelling the intoxicating scent of the forest that always clung to Ari. Seven, fifteen, fifty, the number didn't matter to Royce. He fully believed what his sire had said, having no reason to believe otherwise. "I'm... I'm glad you didn't take that memory away..." Royce whispered quietly into Ari's chest, "I needed to remember what I did... how I hurt that girl..." Tears began to stream from his eyes as he thought about that terrible memory. The loss of control as he continued to drink, the sensation of raw primal hunger when he spotted her on the dance floor, the sickeningly sweet taste of her blood as it spilled down his face. Royce buried his head deeper into his sire's bosom, crying like a small child.

"Maybe... maybe you shouldn't take it... maybe I should remember today, maybe it'll make me better..." Royce rose his head to meet Ari's eyes, his own eyes begging Ari for something he wasn't sure he needed. "I don't know... I just... How am I supposed to not do this again if I don't remember this? What if I"m not strong enough to not do something this stupid again."