Uncomfortable Conversations

[The Cedar Witch]

He laughed because that was an easier outlet for frustration and anger than anything else seemed to be. 

"I don't want to think about him right now," he exhaled, willing the tension to leave his chest if only for a little while.  Jerry would go on the back burner.  He'd deal with that mess after Quinn left - be that in a couple of hours or a couple of days.  He released Quinn's hand only to beckon him closer, wrapping an arm around his shoulder and pulling him in.  "I want this," he murmured over the top of Quinn's head.  "As long as you want this."

[Saiketsu]

His tension also melted when Mal drew him in closer, his arms having that magic power that he always appreciated. Now the intention felt sacred, more special than it had ever been before that moment. He nodded against Mal, embracing him with the same vigor and affection.

So far it had all been good and he liked good. Malakai was fun, warm, affectionate. He wasn't an alcoholic or an asshole, abusive or overbearing. And maybe their relationship was still in the honeymoon phase with rose-colored glasses and all that horseshit, but it felt good. It was the first time that things felt so effortlessly good. He didn't want it all to end so soon and certainly not after something like that. If it was going to end, then let it end over them being incompatible sometime later, when things had run their natural course.

"I'm sorry I got pissy at you," he murmured sheepishly, tucking his face into the crevice of his neck - though not too close, knowing how it could affect vampires. "I just need you to know that I'm fully capable of taking care of myself in that regard. And I think you're pretty fucking great and I..." He swallowed, debating whether he wanted to admit that next bit. But the dam was broken and his words came out anyway, "...I-I was nervous that I'd have to... give this up."

[The Cedar Witch]

When Quinn tucked himself in, Mal held on a bit tighter, allowing the warmth defrost his nerves further. 

"Me too," he admitted quietly without resistance.  He wasn't so keen on elaborating on that point, how ready he'd been for things to end.  Expectant.  The buzz of guilt still pulled at him, that what he had to give would only go so far and eventually Quinn would grow tired of it.  But at least it was all out in the open now.  No more hiding.

Bittersweet.

"And I didn't think you were being pissy at me," he said with a snicker, scrambling for ways to lighten the mood.  There was still a sizable amount of tension in his body.

[Saiketsu]

Quinn laughed wryly, the emotional overload of the moment pushing his reactions towards the extremes. "Oh I was totally being pissy with you," he said, pulling away from Mal just enough to look at him. "It's what I do, by the way." Quinn sighed heavily against Mal. A thought struck him suddenly, causing him the chortle a laugh through his nose.

"Besides, I have two hands and my own apartment," Quinn said crudely, making a face and looking for the joke to lighten the mood. "I'll be fine."

There were questions, of course. So many questions. He could joke and talk about masturbating all he wanted, but in the end what would it be like to rely upon it, when what he wanted was to be with his partner in that way? Was it that Mal was holding himself back from sex, choosing to be celibate? Was it that sex made him uncomfortable and awkward? Had he ever had sex before? Was it certain acts? Or was it just that he didn't experience a desire for sexual stimulation like Quinn did? It was all some jumbled mess that eventually he would need answers to. But as Malakai held him close and reminded him of why he was the greatest partner Quinn had ever had, how his dick would enter into the equation between them mattered less than anything else in the world.

"Just do me a favor and stop doubting how awesome you are, okay?" As if that would fix their problems like magic. If only. There was a relief there that the words were out in the open and things were on the table. He wasn't a huge fan of knowing this new bit of information, but at least he knew what was there. He looked into Mal's face, his eyes falling on those full lips, and ran a slow hand through Mal's hair before pulling him in for a long kiss.