27 Votes

[Trillian]

Tonight the music was set to superadio.com , set at a volume that was high enough to be heard but not enough to drown out conversation, and there were a lot of conversations had. Voting had opened and closed the night prior, the votes counted by the Ward and the results announced tonight on radio.

The white and silver lounges on the black hardwood flooring were filled with chatting people; Ben's employees and/or supporters. A skeleton crew were staffing the Luminary tonight. The bar was full and the dancefloor had people milling around on it conversing and holding drinks rather than dancing. There were a few waitstaff wandering about with hors d'ouevres and shot glasses of heated blood. The plate glass windows showed a view of the city central, the district that Ben hoped to lead and was confident he'd get the chance to.

The fairy lights at Luminscent upon the ceiling cast a beautiful glow over everything, keeping the lighting low and cosy. There were smiles and laughter and Ben and Kerr were being spoken to and wished well and there were even some comments made about 'when you're District Leader'. Ben grinned through it all, nervous energy overtaking his body but otherwise he was everyone's darling as he mingled with the crowd.

And then Tikki and Joe were talking about the votes and the bartender turned the radio all the way up, sending the crowd into silence. Everyone listened as Tikki and Joe spoke about how the voting had been very close, so close that the Ward had counted them twice to make sure because there was merely a twenty-seven vote difference between the person who would be District Leader and the one who'd lost the election.

Ben, for the first time tonight, had a feeling of dread. Twenty-seven votes didn't seem enough. He'd gone to Lan Bao with Kerr shortly before voting and she'd told him without preamble that his alliances were in opposition to her and that his position with them meant there was no position for her. He'd tried to convince her that a seat at a table was better than none at all and her smile curled enough for him to know that Jake had promised her more.

Twenty-seven votes. If he'd lost Lan Bao but gained enough of the Anarchs when he'd addressed them at a rally... would it be Jake who felt the loss? It didn't make sense that Jake would get so many votes in the first place - he'd proven himself unfit to lead, he'd made so many bad moves, violent moves, impulsive moves. The Consort hated him but Ben had been denied an audience with them so he didn't know their motives.

"And without further ado, we announce that the District Leader for City Central is... Jake McCloud!"

The radio show played triumphant music with party-horns going off and someone clicked off the radio. Ben felt the cold steal through his body as all eyes turned his way. Most of them that he looked at lowered their gazes or looked away, embarrassed. Win, nearby, was the first one to break the silence.

"It's the city's loss! You'll get my vote again, what is it, in six years time?"

It was as though Win's comment unplugged everyone and soon everyone was back to laughing and chatting, coming up to Ben and giving him their commiserations and ongoing support for 'next time'. Ben could feel the smile return to his face and he shook hands and thanked everyone for their well wishes, shrugging it off like the loss didn't matter, making small talk about how he would have more time to plan for 'next time'. Generic pop music came on, playing softly in the background - the radio show had been sidelined.

Except the cold had settled into his bones and he was reeling, punch-drunk from the results. Faces blended together and he couldn't remember what it was he'd just said to people but it must've been the right thing because they shook his hand and slapped him on the back or arm and then headed out of the party. As the crowd thinned, Ben continued his slightly-disappointed but optimistic charade. He was fairly sure Kerr had talked to him, maybe hugged him(?), was certainly at his side until the end.

And then it was just him and Kerr in the room, Cain being the last to leave. Ben was holding something in his hands. A shotglass of blood. He drank it down. It was cold.

[Existentially Odd]

Kerr had spent the entire time after the announcement contemplating the nature of promise.

It was such an intangible concept, weightless and formless, but it changed outlooks when it came and wrought havoc when it left unfulfilled. Promise had raised Ben's hopes, his confidence, his self worth. Promise had given him vision and purpose and passion. Promise had opened his heart, inspired his dreams and changed him into more than a false bravado version of someone who hoped for something more but didn't believe they truly deserved it. Promise had snatched his heart and seduced him like no man ever could.

Now, all of that was gone.

In the absence of all of this intangible potential was a void, an abyss of shattered hope and violated dreams that Kerr felt punctured by. Ben's face was a mask, his words polite but bereft of emotion, their blood bond a rock giving no feedback, no indication of feelings. That in itself told a story Kerr knew uncomfortably well. The last time it had happened, he'd raced his love to a place of calm, to begin healing his fractured soul, to gouge out the offence and start to make himself whole again.

Kerr didn't think that was appropriate this time but he knew the currents ebbing within his beloved were just as splintered and angry. And dark. There would only be bitterness and emptiness now, all of the good things swallowed by a tsunami of grief and failure so contemptibly undeniable that it was sure to douse everything good for a while. Promise had built glass castles beneath rainbow skies and, in its wake, there were only jagged shards coated in ruin and despair.

Promise was a false idol of the worst order, and there was absolutely nothing he could do to compensate for its brutal treachery besides be there. Inadequacy was a cunt of an encore act when promise had left the stage.

Kerr took the glass off Ben, depositing it on a nearby table while replacing it with his own hand. The atmosphere in the room reeked of sour decisions and regret, like the morning after an awkward one night stand, and even the lights and the view couldn't make them feel any less violated. He gathered Ben close with his other arm around the back of his shoulders, rubbing his jaw against his hair, prepared for Ben to pull away. He wasn't sure that tenderness was the right reaction in these circumstances but figured Ben would let him know one way or the other.

He wasn't sure there was a 'right' reaction at all.

[Trillian]

Ben allowed himself to be drawn into the hug. Much like he'd shaken hands and weathered friendly holds upon his shoulder so too did he endure this moment, hands raising to wrap around Kerr automatically in a way that felt familiar. It was as though his movie memories had finally caught up to him and taken over. He was making new ones.

After some time, he wasn’t sure how long, Ben pulled away. Stepping back and turning his head to look out over Luminescent, he was struck by how artificial it looked. Fake sky on the ceiling. Fake intimate settings because they were manufactured. Fake music because it was canned and mass produced. How had he not noticed this before? How had he been charmed by it?

Ben untangled himself from Kerr's hand, retracting fingers and walking to the window, looking out at the city who'd shunned him. It might've been twenty-seven votes, but it was actually fourteen people. Fourteen people could've voted for him instead of Jake, and he would've won by a single vote. As his gaze travelled the windows of every building he could see, he wondered who lived in there, if they were in the know, if they had been uncertain who to vote for. Which fourteen people could he have spoken to and made the vote go his way?

It didn't matter now. The votes were in. The count was done. Twenty-seven votes had dashed his plans for the city and for himself. It was the thing that would make him better. It was the thing that would give him purpose. But the supernatural denizens of this city didn't care. He'd given them an Academy and they hadn't cared. Jake had given them nothing but hostile takeovers of other districts, and they hadn't cared. Ben gave them the Ward in a time of uncertainty and they hadn't cared. Jake had set up business in a bar with a chaotist on his staff and they hadn't cared. Ben had given them things that were real and promised more. Jake had given them nothing and said he would start doing better. His promises were ridiculous and unattainable, but they hadn't cared. They'd given him the city.

A twenty-seven vote difference was so much harder to swallow than two thousand and seven. At least with a wider gap Ben would know that he'd assumed too much and he'd not been ready and most of the voters could see it. But twenty seven votes meant he had been ready but that he'd lost anyway.

There was always next time, but he doubted it. Jake would find a way to back out on his promise for elections. He'd promised too many elaborate, random things that nobody could take advantage of or challenge him about. And Ben would not put himself through this again. His campaign had bled millions out of Kerr's finances. Millions of dollars spent for nothing. All that the citizens would remember from this election in a year's time was the free carnival they'd scored out of it.

"Fuck them," he said softly to the glass, condemning the population on the other side of it. "Fuck them all."

But fuck Jake the most.

[Existentially Odd]

Kerr thought it was a fair comment. Fuck the city that had rejected him. He walked over behind Ben, keeping a distance between them. The last thing Ben wanted was to feel crowded, he guessed.

"Maybe we should go away for a while," he prompted, reminding Ben that the world was their playground, if he wanted to turn his back on this traitorous city for a while. They had no obligations to be here now. The thought saddened Kerr, pinching his heart with the fresh pain of it.

"We could go anywhere. Somewhere where your imagination can be fed, just the three of us. Or the two of us," he faltered belatedly, thinking Ben might want to leave Cain behind, too.

[Trillian]

Ben considered Kerr's words but it didn't remove the feeling of emptiness inside of him. Perhaps seeing and experiencing different things in his travels would fill it. He thought it could, and that Kerr's recommendation was a good one, but he also didn't want to give the wrong impression.

"I would like that, but not yet," he said, turning his back to the city and facing Kerr. "I don't want to give Jake more satisfaction than he already has. If I leave now, he'll screech to everyone who'll listen that he ran me out of town. He doesn't get to have that, too."

No wonder Jake loved the broken human system of politics. He was a bullshitter, and bullshitters loved systems that kept them in power when they did nothing. Democracy was for dreamers and liars, and Ben would be neither.

"Give me a month. I'll use that time to give the Ward what I promised them and to organise some replacement staff for our Academy classes." He paused for a moment, then added: "And I think Cain should come with us."

[Existentially Odd]

Kerr nodded as Ben offered up his reasons - very reasonable reasons - for not leaving the city straight away. He did his best to keep his expression blank, though he wanted to frown. What Ben said made sense but Kerr felt like there wasn't much point in doing things according to Jake's reaction. He was going to gloat no matter what and, in Kerr's opinion, it would be better for Ben's mental health to not be around to obsess about what was said or printed in the media.

A month... well, it was fine for Ben to want time but after a month, Kerr could imagine he'd be adjusting to the shape of his new life anyway. There wouldn't be much point in going anywhere in a month. And who was to say Cain would still be with them by then? In all Ben's estimations of his relationship with their pet, Kerr wasn't sure Ben had factored in his attitude after losing to Jake. Kerr was more than a little apprehensive about how the mortal might be treated, considering his history with Ben without this devastation hanging over him.

"That's... quite a bit of foresight," Kerr mused. "I don't know that you'll find travel to be worth it in a month but your points make sense. My opinion is that you'd be better off away from it all now but it's your choice." Kerr fell quiet for a moment, licking his lips nervously. "Are you going to call Jake? To... congratulate him?" he asked softly.

[Trillian]

When Kerr spoke about his foresight, Ben nodded the once, satisfied that he was still thinking logically even though there was a heavy stone on his chest and glue in his throat.

He frowned when told travel wouldn't be 'worth it' because worth what, exactly? Did Kerr think he should run away? Did he not trust that Ben could keep it together? He was no longer an insecure little boy. Then the question of Jake came. Fuck Jake. But no, he knew exactly what he wanted to say.

"Yes, I'll call Jake soon." He was thoughtful when he said it but then his gaze sharpened when he addressed Kerr about his earlier comment. "What do you mean, travel won't be worth it in a month?" He watched Kerr carefully for any nuances his expression would give away that his words didn't.

[Existentially Odd]

Kerr was surprised that Ben circled back to his comment but his expression didn't alter. He thought about how to phrase his thoughts before he spoke, his voice calm and relatively emotionless.

"I just think, by the time a month has passed, you'll be busy again. Too busy to take the time to go away. This defeat won't hold you down for long, you're too angry to do nothing. You'll fight back. Working with the Ward, colluding with Saraekiel or Charon, Zoheret - and maybe even Zeus? - will have offers for you, sabotaging Jake somehow, co-ordinating with the Mayor... I'm sure you'll think of twenty more things you can do with your time to help you positively affect the city. Because it's what you have your heart set on doing so I know you'll succeed. Defeat is a temporary muzzle I can't see you wearing for long," he shrugged.

"The only thing you going now would change is that you won't have to be here to suffer Jake's gloating. In a month's time, he'll have had the satisfaction of watching you struggle to resist it for a month. Who cares if he thinks he ran you out of town? It'd lull him into a false sense of security and you'd just come back stronger, when he least expects it."

[Trillian]

Kerr's response annoyed him. To be fair on Kerr, Ben knew that any response was likely to annoy him. When Kerr spoke about positively affecting the city, he frowned lightly. Ben had literally just said fuck you to the city. A city that forgave impulsive, martial manoeuvres. A city that didn't mind having a showpony giving them lip service. That city? Apparently Kerr thought Ben would just get over it in a month and start fulfilling the promises he was going to make if in charge.

Fuck that. Fuck them. Fuck Kerr, too, if he thought Ben was that fickle.

"I care, obviously, or I wouldn't have mentioned it," Ben said conversationally. He really was good at sounding together when he didn't feel like it. He was super-pleased that this trait hadn't left him over the decade he'd existed as a vampire. It was extremely useful.

While he was in this mode, he wanted to take advantage of it. Pulling his mobile out of his pocket, he thumbed his way to contacts and pressed Jake's number. He stared at Kerr while the phone rang.

[Black Philip]

Jake was tending to his guests, his face a beaming smile and his eyes lit up like stars. He felt giddy all things considered, surprised, happy, relieved and vindicated all at once. The votes were in, and Jake had won. His maneuvers, deals, and good old fashioned politicking had pulled himself the win. It didn't matter that it gave down to 27 votes. It could've been one.

Jake would remain the district leader, of the central district and Ben was back to being an ordinary citizen. Jake was now the only elected leader in the city. Ben had given him that. Jake imagined with glee Zoheret's stupid face at the thought he'd remain her peer. He also thought of Charon, and how butt hurt he must've been that his golden boy lost the election. Awe, now he knew what he was feeling, it was fucking satisfaction.

Jake saw the number on his phone, and recognized it from the days when Ben stayed with him. He stepped away from his guests and into his bedroom before answering the call. He was hoping Ben would call to concede, but was ready for everything including allegations of cheating.

"Hey Ben," he said, not hiding his good mood. "How's your night going?" It was spoken so politely, but on the other end of the phone Jake's face bore an amused grin.

[Trillian]

The question was pretty mild in comparison to the gloating Ben thought he would receive. He ignored it anyway because Jake already knew the answer.

"Hi Jake, I thought I'd call and congratulate you on your win." He paused just long enough for Jake to savour those words before Ben added the thing that had bothered him the most. "It must feel good knowing that half of the voters are content with you."

He used such words because he knew people feared change and likely supernaturals did, too. Jake had the familiarity vote. Jake had the Kuei Jin vote. Jake probably had the Anarch vote because Ben's one speech wouldn't have turned many heads. He was realistic enough to know this. And he was realistic enough to recognise that the voters outside of those groups had pulled Ben up to half. Fucking half.

Jake might be celebrating now, but since he'd heard a few times how similar he was to Jake, he would use it to his advantage. If Jake really was like him, then that half that didn't vote for him would float into his consciousness once the celebrations were over. And Ben knew, from living with Jake, that he could be a touch paranoid.

[Black Philip]

At first, Jake suspected Ben might have grown in the time since their campaigns began. Jake credited Ben with helping him grow as a leader, and indirectly as a person. Since his return from the Sabbat war, he'd endured Lazarus, an election, a sexual assault, multiple heartbreaks and of course, fucking Ben. He'd endured Ben most of all, and had come out the other side a more complete person. Ben might plant a long term seed, but for the moment Jake was elevated by his win, but any attempt to be cordial was cut short by Ben's poor sportsmanship.

"Better than you're feeling I imagine," he retorted, laughing as he did. "I'm going to play nice publicly at Damien's request, and I'm surprised you didn't have Kerr call. Doesn't he normally clean up your messes, or is it Charon? It's hard to keep track of your betters and hand-holders these days."

Requests were already coming for him to rejoin, the party, and he wanted to talk to Lan Bao and Theo in particular. He was curious what Ben would say in retort, but doubted it would pierce his good mood tonight. No, nothing could do that tonight.

[Trillian]

Ben slow blinked, feeling the hit that Jake sent his way. Of course Jake wouldn't feel anything now other than the high of the win. Ben knew Jake was always better at punching down, not up.

"Oh, Jake. Of course Kerr cleans up my messes, especially when I pour blood all over my body."

There were multiple responses he could've made about not having to buy or bribe his way to the win, but Ben thought reminding Jake about what he didn't have (and also revealing that he'd known exactly what had happened) would make for the hardest hit. Ben watched Kerr's reaction at this, knowing that he would have heard both sides of the conversation.

[Black Philip]

On a less jovial day, that one would've stung. Jake didn't take physical rejection well, especially since it almost never happened. To make matters worse, it had been Kerr, someone Jake could've seen himself being happy with. More so than that, Jake and Ben had started fighting because of Kerr, although not over him, per say. No, Kerr had become another pawn between them, and Ben had attempted to use him as a weapon, as Jake had only moments before. His smile dipped slightly, but returned even larger as divine intervention supplied him with the perfect comeback.

"You know Ben, you have a point," he admitted, lying enough to sound genuine. "If the election had been about who's best at fucking their way to the top, you'd definitely would've won."

Ben only had the money to run because it was Kerr's money. If sex was a weapon, then Ben was fully loaded, only this time the gun had blown up in the brat's face. The district leader debated punctuating his statement by hanging up, but didn't want to be seen as running so he could have the last word. Instead, the Ventrue waited, wondering what Ben would make of the accusation. Jake's beauty, and body, had opened doors to him when he was Ben's age, so it was a cheap blow. However, Ben had once again started shit, but would walk away claiming he was the victim. Jake decided there was no harm in playing the part in which he'd been cast.

[Trillian]

Jake's volley landed well. Ben's face shifted from bitter smugness to a sneer of contempt. It was a constant blow for him; those he slept with were often powerful, usually because he was drawn to those who wielded it, sometimes because submitting was a matter of survival. For a long time he'd weathered comments about his position as 'the Luminary's piece of ass'. Now Charon and Saraekiel were both notches. The pause was too long and he knew Jake now knew he'd hit the mark.

"I'm glad you can admit I'm the better lay. Even Lazarus thought I was worth doing more with."