Of Wings And Wishes

[Ehcorn]

Kerr's smile, though reassuring, didn't do as much for Remi as looking at Sam did. If there'd been trepidation or wariness in his expression, then he might've taken longer to consider, but there was only hopefulness. Sam thought this ancient vampire might be able to help him, so he could believe it too. He broke out in a sunshiny smile and squeezed Sam's hand in a series of rapid bursts, much like he had when he'd found out he could continue living on the rooftop of The Capital Building.

His gaze returned to the pair that sat across from them, his smile dimming enough for him to be able to speak again. "If there's a chance he can fix it," he said, "I'd like to let him try. I can't always have Sam with me to help when it gets bad."

Remi squeezed Sam's hand again, though this time it was a long, steady thing - a silent acknowledgement of all the times he'd been there to support him when he'd needed it.

[Existentially Odd]

Samuel's gaze at Remi was worshipful while his hand was being squeezed and his beaming smile mirrored the angel's automatically when it came. He fought the urge to lean across the distance between them and kiss him, knowing it would be inappropriate. Sam kept watching his profile when Remi turned back to look at Ben and Kerr, extraordinarily aware of the way his heart felt full to the point of bursting just from watching Remi's mouth move and his eyes blink. He was amazing.

The words Remi spoke registered a little slowly but Sam figured out he should add something to Remiel's acceptance before the silence stretched too obviously. "I'm here anyway," he told the angel happily. He turned to grin at Kerr and then Ben, his cheeks lightly flushed because he'd had a glass of blood before he came (to be sure he remained sharp). "Thank you," he said sincerely. "That'll help. We're planning to take a week and drive to meet R...emiel's mother. Remi's claustrophobia stops that from happening so we'll be really grateful for it to be gone," he told Ben, smiling affably at him before his expression changed into one of realisation.

"Oh! And, well, that's another thing I wanted to do; inform you about me taking leave from the Academy. Just as a courtesy. I'll organise it through the Dean, I just wanted you to know," he shrugged, turning to share a shy look with Remi. Again, the urge to kiss him was strong as the excitement of real changes to Remi's life settled around them. The possibilities were growing, it was exciting.

~*~

So they were in love - if not completely, they were definitely on their way. Kerr hadn't realised that Sam and Remiel had such strong feelings until they looked at each other the way they just had. It summoned a faint smile. The way they relied on each other was beautiful to see (and hear, since Remiel's heartbeat was obvious to every vampire) and reminded Kerr of when his relationship with Ben was young and new; when every look thrilled and every touch began at wonderful and only escalated.

His gaze shifted to Ben and the refreshing, delighted feeling faded, replaced with anxiety and sadness as he fretted about Ben's feelings regarding the mark. He wasn't sure whether now was the time to bring it up but Sam had raised multiple topics for discussion, how many more could there be? Kerr wasn't going to let the opportunity to have Remiel heal Ben pass... if Ben would allow it. He swallowed, his throat feeling tight at the prospect of his partner refusing. He glanced at Remiel and Sam, sparing them a smile.

"Okay, good. We'll contact Charon for you," he assured, looking now at Ben. "Do... are you ready to talk about it now?" he asked timidly. Kerr wasn't sure he was ready to hear it and his teeth tapped restlessly around his tongue stud as he waited for Ben to speak.

[Trillian]

As they'd spoken amongst themselves Ben considered that he'd started this meeting off in an unusually stormy mood and other than keeping his mouth shut, he was having trouble containing his emotions. He supposed weeks of smiling and playing the charming politician had finally brought him to breaking point and he'd reset to his usual prickly self.

He wasn't projecting a false persona so much as talking to more people than he ever had in his life and justifying himself over and over to people who kept asking him the same questions about what kind of leadership and promises he brought to the table. The carnival had been a highlight and even then it had left him fatigued with the following weeks draining him down to nothing. He hadn't the opportunity for downtime.

And now, thinking he was going to meet an angel - a creature he'd been curious over and excited about meeting - he'd been blindsided with Jake's dirty fingers soiling someone that should've been new and interesting, and then had to look at Kerr's glee over removing the mark on his chest. It was like Remi was nothing but a catalyst to bring up the sore points in Ben's life.

Perhaps he should forgive himself for barking hostility at the angel earlier. He'd admitted that he'd murdered dark angels simply for existing. He wasn't going to forgive the fucker for genocide just because he had pretty white wings. If Remiel wanted to fight a war with dark angels, he could do it on his own plane. But it seemed he was second guessing himself anyway. Still. Ben would have to ask Saraekiel about that. Of course Kerr wouldn't approve. He'd say some insulting thing about how little Saraekiel knew about anything and then berate Ben's intelligence for even trying.

On the heels of that thought came Kerr's tentative request. Ben looked at him without expression. Trapped. Cornered. He couldn't reasonably refuse.

"Of course." He looked away from Kerr and at Remiel, holding onto his thumb with the fist of his other hand. "There's a mark on my chest where I've been touched by a dark angel. It hurt like a burn when it was put on but some... magical ointment... took the pain away, but left the mark behind. If you were to remove that mark, what would you be doing, exactly?"

[Ehcorn]

"Uh," Remi said, caught off guard by Ben’s question. Given how well it’d gone the first time he’d brought up the traces of dark angel he could detect on the vampire, he hadn’t thought he’d get another opportunity to broach the subject of healing Ben, but there it was.

"Well…" He cleared his throat and rubbed his chin with his free hand, rasping the short bristles of his beard. Something told him that his answer might sway Ben towards letting him help, but he could no more explain how he healed than he could explain why the sun rose and set every day. Someone who’d studied the subject probably could, but as with most things, he only knew that it happened — not why.

"I can’t say exactly," he finally admitted, dropping his hand to reveal a sheepish smile. "I just put my hands on people and when I feel what’s out of place, I focus on what would fix it, then they’re better."

And afterwards, there was fatigue he couldn't shake until he'd had a nap, but he kept that to himself; it wasn’t important.

"It shouldn’t hurt you. Everyone I’ve ever healed has seemed… at peace when I’m doing it."

[Existentially Odd]

Sam's eyebrows lifted as he heard Ben describe a dark angel's touch on his chest. A touch? Or an attack? Why would a dark angel 'mark' a vampire, surely that was an offensive manoeuvre? Did Ben get into a fight with a dark angel?

His gazed roved over Ben curiously, pondering this odd development and trying to read his body language. He got the feeling Ben didn't want the burn mark to go but that didn't make sense. His brows lowered and he fought the urge to frown, wanting to understand without drawing attention to himself.

While he watched, his mind whirled, trying to imagine the circumstances in which Kerr allowed his fledgeling to be marked by a dark angel. It was mindboggling and fascinating.

~*~

Kerr listened to Remiel's answer carefully, anticipation curling through him. When the angel was finished speaking, he turned to look at Ben, unable to hold his excitement at bay any longer. It travelled down their bloodline and transformed his expression into something hopeful and vulnerable.

"Sound good?" he prompted quietly.

[Trillian]

Ben stared at Remi with consideration when Kerr attracted his attention with his softly spoken prompt. He looked at his sire with none of the hostility from before but apologetically.

"If I'm to be District Leader, I'm going to need as many on my side as possible for the future good," he said, not wanting to discuss the plans they'd talked about at length in front of these two - especially not when they seemed obliged to Jake. "I don't want to ruin a potential alliance for the sake of...

jealousy

discomfort."

Thank goodness he found a better word quickly so he didn't have to use the first one that came to him.

[Existentially Odd]

Samuel blinked at Ben, then looked at Kerr - who seemed frozen - then at Remi in confusion. That sounded like a 'no, thanks' from Ben. So the burn mark was some sort of... gift? He looked back at the other two vampires again and that was when things got really awkward.

~*~

Kerr felt like he was entirely too much. Too vulnerable, too in love, too obvious, too insulted, too shocked, too wounded. Too. Fucking. Much.

He blinked and broke eye contact with Ben, looking down at his lap in an effort to gather himself, his wits, his emotions. Everything felt like it was flying loose inside him and he couldn't bear the thought of falling apart in front of guests. How gauche. He swallowed, tilting slightly to the left, where his hand lifted so that his fingertips could press against his lips, his elbow resting on the arm of his chair. He was trembling. He didn't like that.

Think. Think. It was difficult to. To process the fact that Ben was saying he didn't want to get rid of the fucking blight. He valued a potential alliance over Kerr's peace of mind? The foul leavings of a random fuck over his partner's happiness. What the fuck? He knew how it pained Kerr to see that fucking thing every night, how he avoided looking at it, touching it. That snarled 'Fuck you' had been genuine. He wanted his mark on his body. Jesus. Was that blasphemous to think in the presence of an angel? Fucking hell. That was probably better. Fucking motherfucker of hellfuck. Yeah.

He had to say something. He'd come back to Ben just a handful of nights before because he couldn't live without him but he didn't return just to get kicked in the dick. The only way the mark being gone would ruin Ben's alliance with Sardickiel would be if the cunt found out and he'd only find out once Ben's shirt was off and by that stage, who the fuck thought the cockhead would halt things just to bitch about his love burn being taken away? Not Kerr. By that stage, the fuckers would be ready to fuck each other too stupid to even give a shit. He'd probably just put another one on him. Kerr hoped next time it'd go on his cock and there'd be no magical ointment to stop the burn.

Ben clearly didn't give a shit about Kerr's feelings, it was that horrifyingly simple. He'd said all his pretty words and demurred about going to that dark angel fucker and they'd had a beautiful date - a fucking magical date - where Ben had professed love and appreciation for him, his sire, his one true love, his partner but when all was said and done... he didn't give a shit. Maybe the mark was a corruption, a bit of Sarcunthead that was twisting Ben into protecting it so that it would be able to stay and influence him?

Probably not, though. Ben was probably just an asshole.

Kerr cleared his throat, knowing the silence was stretching, that their visitors were wondering what the fuck was going on. Kerr set his jaw and dropped the hand away from his face, forcing himself to look into Ben's mesmerising gaze. "Well then. I guess it comes down to whose alliance you value more," he said, his voice quiet but so hard it could cut steel. The implication he kept in his own thoughts, barred from Ben's mind should he be looking, but he would know what Kerr was thinking anyway.

Him or me. Fucking choose. Fuck me for wanting it off you? No, fuck you.

[Trillian]

The tone wasn't missed. The hard edge of his words and the look in his eye took Ben's breath away, not that he was breathing per se but it was the reaction he felt rising in him. He froze, captivated by that raw emotion and the ultimatum that came with it. He blinked twice at Kerr and slowly turned back to Remi.

"Right. Do you need me to take my shirt off or can this be an over the clothes thing?" His smile was too bright for what had just happened but he felt like he'd been dunked in ice water and making a big deal of it would just enhance the shock somehow.

[Ehcorn]

Remi wasn't of immediate assistance. He continued staring at the vampire in stunned silence, his eyebrows furrowed as he tried to work through what'd just happened. Talk of alliances and districts was especially confusing since he hadn't even known he lived in a district until he'd been dragged into a meeting with the Central District Leader. The only thing immediately clear to him was that the tension in the room had built up so thick that he was sure a thunderstorm would have to break before the air was breathable again.

Sam's hand tightened on his and he joined the blinking party by turning to blink at him. "Hm?" he said, then there was another flurry of blinking when Remi followed his line of sight back to Ben.

"Oh. Sorry. I... Yes, I can. I can heal you over your clothes." He extracted his hand from Sam's and stood to navigate his way around the coffee table and to a space that could accommodate his wings and another person.

With a smile, Remi gestured to the spot in front of him, signaling that he wanted Ben to stand there. "Whenever you're ready."

[Trillian]

Ben nodded firmly the once before standing where it was indicated for him to do so. He squirmed in the position momentarily, half-glancing at Kerr but not making it all the way to eye contact before looking back at Remi.

"After you do this," he said carefully, "may I... briefly... touch your wings?"

He wanted to know if the white feathers were different from the dark. The way Saraekiel's feathers had pulsed with energy could have changed from whatever Remi's feathers had going for them. The feathers themselves looked exceptionally soft (but so had Saraekiel's, until Ben stroked them and felt their individual strength).

[Existentially Odd]

Kerr was probably the only one who saw the look on Sam's face when Ben's request came because the other two were likely focussed on each other. It distracted Kerr from showing a reaction simply because it was so entertaining.

Sam was easy to read. His eyes widened like he'd been slapped, his mouth popped open as his jaw slackened and he frowned. He shifted in his seat, scraping a hand through his longish hair and then scowled at Ben. He looked at Remiel next and his face immediately softened into something gooey; it was a mix of lust, worship and embarrassment. It made Kerr wonder exactly what Sam had done to (in? with?) Remiel's wings for him to be getting so flustered by Ben's request to touch.

Ben's request to touch. Kerr didn't understand the fascination. Remiel as an entire being was awe-inspiring, perhaps it was about grappling with the magnitude of this being's presence? It was more likely something to do with Sarcuntiel, though.  The thought soured Kerr's enjoyment of Sam's expressions and had him lifting his gaze to Remiel to listen to his answer. Ben had made things even more awkward. It was a gift.

[Ehcorn]

Ben’s curiosity reminded Remi of the children he'd met at the carnival. Some had stared at him and his wings from a respectful distance, but others had swarmed him before he’d been able to shift them away and he’d spent what felt like hours that night washing sticky residue from his feathers. Not a single one of them had asked before they’d dug their fingers into his wings, but Ben had — and Remi didn’t imagine he’d eaten candy any time recently.

"Sure, if you want," Remi said. His smile was wide, incorporating dimples in his cheeks and creases at the corners of his eyes. "Thanks for asking first."

He looked from Ben’s unusually colored eyes to his chest and frowned.

He’d spent enough time around Adagio to immediately recognize that the blackness emanating from Ben came from a dark angel, but until now — standing close and using the same ability that allowed him to see shifting auras — he hadn't been able to see what exactly had been done. Remi’s eyebrow went up. The dark angel that had left the mark on him hadn’t done it with his hand; it was far more intimate than that.

Remi shook his head, forcing himself to focus on his task. Ben had agreed to have the thing removed, hadn’t he? Now he needed to remove it.

He spread his fingers over Ben’s chest, placing his palm over his still heart, and closed his eyes. A warm, golden light radiated from his hand and into Ben as he began to cleanse the mark, illuminating the area until every fragment of darkness was exposed and burned away.

Ten of Remi's steady heartbeats later, and nothing of the dark angel's mark remained.

Remi opened his eyes and dropped his arm.

"It's done," he said quietly, managing a ghost of his earlier smile.

[Trillian]

He expected heat to emanate from Remi's hands and he braced himself for it but there was nothing. No, not quite nothing. Pinpricks on the surface of his chest where the mark lay, prickles that reminded him of water evaporating off his body after a shower beneath the headlamps of the bathroom.

Beyond that, there was very little. He'd thought he would feel something grand, like a sense of joy or something, but none of that happened. No overwhelming emotion, no sensation beyond the slight prickling, no potential for him falling to his knees and crying out praise. Once it was over Ben did immediately lift a hand to his chest where Remi's hands left him, to where the mark should be... and once again, nothing. He wanted to unbutton his clothing and see for himself but he didn't want to do it in front of them.

"Thanks," he said, feeling like he should say something. He kept looking at the angel, wondering if he would gesture for Ben to touch, or wrap a wing forward or turn around so Ben could just stroke them against his back.

[Ehcorn]

“You’re welcome,” Remi said reflexively. Every other tendril of thought that would’ve led to anything beyond that slipped through his mind’s fingers before he could grasp it. He hated how muddled everything got after he healed, but it would pass. He just needed to sit down and— Ben was staring at him again. He’d already healed him, so why was he looking at him like that? Like he expected something from him?

As realization dawned, Remi inhaled and on his exhale, a soft ‘oh’ left his lips. He’d made a promise that he hadn’t fulfilled.

He shuffled around to expose his back to Ben, lifting and spreading his wings but not unfurling them fully, silently prompting the vampire to begin.

While he waited, Remi made eye contact with Sam and smiled a sleepy smile.

[Trillian]

Ben had never had wings put on display like Remi had. Saraekiel's wings had fanned out above him, he'd been wrapped up in them and he'd been allowed to caress them briefly. Plucking had been out of the question. Saraekiel wouldn't have his wings on him that often either, which was a shame. It made him look far more magnificent.

Ben reached forward with both hands and gently caressed the top of the feathers before delving further in, moving some apart to get to the feathers beneath. He could feel the same energy pulsing through them as he had with Saraekiel. Exactly the same. Hmn, he hadn't expected that. Fingers isolated a solitary feather and explored it. Strong in itself, not fragile like an actual bird. He didn't try to bend one with vampiric strength, that would be rude and it might even hurt. He didn't know.

"Do you feel them? Are you aware of each feather separately, as you would your fingers? Or are they more like fingernails?" he asked, still stroking, only back on the outside part. After his question his hand moved to the muscles that held them out, the things that did the flapping rather than what caught the breeze. As he rubbed his hand along the part that attached near Remi's shoulders, it felt oddly like a particular muscled appendage.