Harm suddenly felt much older than he was. He also felt spiteful and stupid and regretful. So fucking regretful. He wanted to hear more about the app Gia had designed for their trip, he was intrigued about how it would work but the air around the table had only thickened. Their silence was affecting Jon and Gia's evening and Harm didn't want that. Guilt seeped through him as he weighed the situation.
Mainly, he felt terrible because he'd known it wasn't a good idea for Trick to keep his explanation to himself - both because stewing only exacerbated the problem and also because it made Harm resentful. The tension wasn't entirely his fault and he tried to tell himself that but, because he'd been spiteful, it still felt like it was. Of course, the situation could've soured because Trick wasn't looking forward to the explanation of his lie, too, in which case it shouldn't be rushed.
Harm was torn between letting everything simmer and inviting Trick upstairs or back into the lounge to sort it out. At this stage, he was also feeling bad that Trick was feeling bad, despite being angered by the knowledge his boyfriend had willingly lied to him about something. Something to do with his mother's death. Why would he lie about that? And how did it connect to his family being assholes to him? He didn't get it!
Sidling a glance sideways, he noticed Trick wasn't eating properly. Harm's gaze drifted upwards, travelling over his hands and up his arms to his profile, noting the stiffness with which he held himself, the tightness in his shoulders. Was it because of him, because he'd been quiet? Was it because Trick had lied? Was it because of the story itself (whatever that was)?
Normally, Harm's default belief would've been that it was all Trick's problem but they'd grown a lot closer in the time they'd been together. Trick had admitted earlier that he'd missed him after just one night apart and Trick wasn't the gushy type. His soft inside was more obvious to Harm now, though. He cared. He cared what Harm thought and he cared about Harm's feelings. Not as much as he loved his family, though, and Jon had been disappointed in his son - enough to pull the full name treatment on him.
Knowing they were both unhappy with him right now was probably eating at Trick more than he was comfortable admitting. There was also the nature of the lie itself; that wasn't easy for him to bear. Harm sighed, feeling even worse for Trick, his resentment dissolving into sympathy despite wanting to be mad and punish him for lying. He couldn't continue to do it. He also couldn't force the issue when he knew Trick worked best given his own time and space. Harm wanted it resolved sooner rather than later.
Fighting the urge to stand and coax Trick away from the table to discuss it, Harm instead offered an olive branch. He put his knife down - settling for using just his fork for the time being - and dropped the hand closest to Trick below the table, sliding it atop his thigh and giving him a squeeze. Whether it was supposed to assure Trick he was still there, that he was sorry or encourage Trick to be in a better mood, he wasn't sure. He just wished things were a fuckload less awkward right now.
"How long will you need to test your app out?" Harm asked Gia, clearing his throat so his voice was a little less husky (though karaoke the night before had really done a number on it. Damn Maroon Five and their tempting high notes). "We're probably here for another month, though I'm hoping I get my passport this coming week so I can start on my visa application. It's probably wishful thinking," he gave Trick's leg another squeeze as thoughts of their upcoming trip sent a zing of excitement through him. If he got no reaction, he'd withdraw his hand altogether.
"Anything I can do to help in the meantime, I'm all in. Your app sounds fantastic!" Harm enthused, hoping he could make at least one Fallows family member smile.