Author Topic: Rekindle  (Read 26733 times)

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Offline Existentially Odd

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Re: Rekindle
« Reply #150 on: October 06, 2019, 06:02:15 PM »
Kerr watched Ben put his laptop away, pulling his hand back and tucking it around the book he held in his lap, mostly forgotten. He shifted slightly, lowering his shoulder so that he could face his love better. "You were reluctant from the beginning, it felt like. Am I wrong about that?" Now he was looking into Ben's eyes, seeking his truth.

Offline Trillian

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Re: Rekindle
« Reply #151 on: October 06, 2019, 06:15:41 PM »
"Not reluctant," Ben said, admiting that there was a word to describe how he'd been but that one wasn't it. "I was excited, initially. And a bit, um... nervous? I didn't expect him to arrive before me because he'd come at one last night, but that was stupid of me to assume, I guess. And I'd thought if he came early that the two of you would be in the bedroom and I'd... jump in."

He shrugged. "I overthought it, I guess." He hoped Kerr would let him have that. Chalk one up to overthinking - it was a very Ben thing to do. Talk over. But he looked at Kerr, wondering what he was thinking.
INFUSCO : Ben : Hugh : Lan Bao : Mick : Todd : Vincent : Win :
HALFLIGHT : Graille Min Sayer :

Offline Existentially Odd

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Re: Rekindle
« Reply #152 on: October 06, 2019, 06:22:50 PM »
Kerr processed Ben's answer, appreciating the elucidation. "I didn't tell him a time to come tonight. I did last night," he explained, hesitating because Ben overthinking how things would go was definitely believable. But it still didn't explain how Ben felt now.

"If we'd started without you, we'd have been finished by the time you got home. I put a hold on things because I wanted to include you. But after you showered - the first time - we had started. And you didn't jump in. You hung back, watching. Why was that?"

Offline Trillian

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Re: Rekindle
« Reply #153 on: October 06, 2019, 06:28:22 PM »
"Can't I watch?" Ben asked, his tone dancing a sharp edge of wariness.
INFUSCO : Ben : Hugh : Lan Bao : Mick : Todd : Vincent : Win :
HALFLIGHT : Graille Min Sayer :

Offline Existentially Odd

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Re: Rekindle
« Reply #154 on: October 06, 2019, 06:39:52 PM »
Kerr's mouth twisted thoughtfully and he nodded, sensing Ben's tone becoming defensive. The way he'd answered a question with a question was a common deflection habit of his, too. Kerr had a clear choice, then. Pursue this line of questioning and invite negative consequences in his pursuit of the truth or let it go, enjoy the rest of their evening together and sleep on this awful thorn of discomfort poking inside him.

Unlike him, Ben could compartmentalise like a motherfucker and not talking it through wouldn't bother him... until he exploded. He didn't want Ben exploding all over Cain. Best he take the hit now and try to minimise the damage. Ben's destructive habits of burying stuff were supposed to be stopping - but then again, so was Kerr's habit of physically manipulating Ben and look how well that was going.

Old habits died hard, so they said, and they were fucking right. Affection and love for Ben rose within him as he took on this perspective and he was ready to forgive anything. His lips shifted into a half smile.

"You can watch anytime you like, it doesn't worry me at all," he expanded. "But you were kind of like a little bird, hiding yourself in the corner, reluctant to jump in - though you clearly wanted to. That's why I came to you, because I thought you might be wanting an invitation. Did I... do something to make you feel unwelcome?" he hazarded, his expression sympathetic and apologetic (in anticipation of receiving an affirmative answer).

Offline Trillian

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Re: Rekindle
« Reply #155 on: October 06, 2019, 06:51:43 PM »
"No, you were welcoming," Ben admitted. Kerr's start on his body had been peculiar but then it had turned into something very nice. "I... the two of you, um..."

He thought about what he'd seen. Their bodies, muscular and working hard together in union. Kerr letting Cain have the dominant role. Watching as Cain pumped into him in a way that seemed to last forever.

"I just wanted to watch," he finished, knowing Kerr was unlikely to accept it. "I wasn't a little bird," he said finally, the conversation shifting to something more aggressive. "I did what I wanted."
INFUSCO : Ben : Hugh : Lan Bao : Mick : Todd : Vincent : Win :
HALFLIGHT : Graille Min Sayer :

Offline Existentially Odd

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Re: Rekindle
« Reply #156 on: October 06, 2019, 06:59:06 PM »
"Okay," Kerr said, accepting that. Ben had joined in when Kerr coaxed him into it so he didn't bother to argue that couldn't have 'just' wanted to watch that badly, because he hadn't. Perhaps he'd thought he did but changed his mind, who knew what had been going on in his head? They were semantics that weren't really going to let Kerr know what he wanted to know so he let it drop.

"So... how did you think it went, then? Did you enjoy yourself? Which was your favourite part? Did you have any notes for me for next time?" he offered casually, shrugging and opening his hands slightly to show how amenable he was to input. Input was much better than 'I don't think this will work, actually'. He wanted input.

Offline Trillian

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Re: Rekindle
« Reply #157 on: October 06, 2019, 08:07:43 PM »
Ben made a face. "It's the first night. It went pretty much how I expected, lots of sex. Very sexy. I hope you don't think we're going to do this every night," he said.

Then he thought he'd said too much. His libido was usually pretty high.
INFUSCO : Ben : Hugh : Lan Bao : Mick : Todd : Vincent : Win :
HALFLIGHT : Graille Min Sayer :

Offline Existentially Odd

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Re: Rekindle
« Reply #158 on: October 06, 2019, 08:15:53 PM »
Kerr raised his eyebrows in surprise. "Why not? We have sex every night - well, pretty much. Are you wanting to include Cain only on certain nights or something?"

He thought it was sweet that Ben wanted to maintain the integrity of their intimacy. It would suck to never have Ben alone... though he'd been thinking they'd always have the start and the end of the night together, just for them. They might get too tired for sex, if they'd played with Cain, though.

Offline Trillian

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Re: Rekindle
« Reply #159 on: October 06, 2019, 08:22:16 PM »
"For a start, he's human. He'll need to recover, he can't just heal like we do." Ben had drunk from him as well, which was probably why Cain had decided to have an early night. It was nice to have an opportunity to be able to talk about him but right now Ben didn't want to talk about him.

"Can we just see how this goes? I don't want to plan it out. I don't know how I'm going to feel tomorrow."

That much was true.
INFUSCO : Ben : Hugh : Lan Bao : Mick : Todd : Vincent : Win :
HALFLIGHT : Graille Min Sayer :

Offline Existentially Odd

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Re: Rekindle
« Reply #160 on: October 06, 2019, 08:39:06 PM »
Wow. That was exactly what Ben had said about their open relationship, their potential marriage and now Cain. 'Can we not and just see how it goes?' There was a fuckload of stuff in their lives that they were waiting to just magically work out for them. All of the big relationship stuff, in fact. Everything else - the election, the Academy, Lovebite - that was all really important. Definitely worth prioritising. Write up those documents, create that manifesto, send those emails. They were on a timeline.

Their relationship, with all its complicated facets... ? No deadline. It'd be there to examine later. When Ben was ready for it.

Kerr's heart squeezed, hurt striking him when he'd least expected it. He swallowed, trying to push the emotions down, out of sight, hiding them from Ben - though they'd blindsided him so he may have got a taste before Kerr realised. He became pensive, gnawing on his tongue stud as he blinked at the book in his lap. He'd made his stand, he'd argued his viewpoint, he'd told Ben what he wanted. He was tired of fighting, they'd done too much of it lately. The road to reunion was often rocky and he'd only upset things again if he pushed this. Maybe Ben was right. Maybe he shouldn't poke it.

It was only their relationship, what did communicating matter?

"Okay," he agreed quietly and opened his book.