Finding a Nest

[Existentially Odd]

Jeanne gave a tiny smile of reassurance when Murphy looked warily at her but then he continued about his business.  She was surprised (but impressed) by the singing - she was monitoring his thoughts in case of a panic attack, though even with his advanced skills, he wouldn’t be aware of her presence.

As Clair gave an affirmative, “Yes, dear,” to the question of being comfortable, Jeanne was still pondering Murphy’s technique. Should she reveal the truth behind what he was actually doing, to make the process clearer or would it be best to let his instincts rule for a little longer? She quickly decided it could wait indefinitely (though if he chose another to train him, she’d have some explaining to do regarding the desperate circumstances surrounding his first drink and how she’d ended up guiding his ability to dominate so queerly!).

The bite seemed a bit harder than necessary - Jeanne resolved to discuss the fragility of skin as mortals aged and how to temper the force behind a bite accordingly - but Clair soon sagged happily against Murphy, humming ‘Your Song’ behind her happy smile. Jeanne watched his mouth work, knowing the blood was flowing quickly due to the pressure he’d exerted. She frowned minutely, concerned he was being gluttonous rather than efficient. He was young, certainly, but his mind was hungrier than his body and he needed to learn the difference.

When it was time for him to stop, Jeanne cleared her throat as a signal. Clair was compliant in his arms but chose that moment to start singing the chorus, rather than just hum it. “I hope you don’t mind! I hope you don’t mind that I put down in words, how wonderful life is now you’re in the world!” It seemed an oddly congratulatory statement, celebrating Murphy’s ushering into the vampiric realm and Jeanne had to stifle a smile as she watched Murphy close off the wound - quite expertly, frankly.

Clair left the room with a minimum of fuss - though she did blush and apologise for her singing, admitting she’d never performed in such a manner, before she thanked Murphy and waved away his gratitude, floating contentedly back to wherever she’d come from. Jeanne sat beside Murphy, the compression of the mattress causing her body to press against his side. Her hand came to rest quite naturally on his thigh and she smiled into his lovely golden eyes, admiring his handsome face up close.

“Well?” she prompted indulgently, savouring the satisfaction she could feel rolling off him vicariously. She vaguely recalled the pure pleasure of those early feeds, the adoration and reverence for the taste, the texture, the scent and feel of the beings bleeding into her body for nourishment. It had been potent and heady, inspiring a lust like no other and she recalled fondly the passionate indulgence with her sire afterwards. It was tragic that Murphy didn’t have anyone genuinely invested in him enough to properly celebrate his transformation with him. Well, she was here, but she believed herself inadequate because he wasn’t interested in women.

[pinkroses]

Murphy felt himself relax into drinking as Clair's body relaxed against his. With Andy he'd been feeling desperate, panicked, like he was on the edge of murdering someone. With Clair resting against him and humming along, it was a whole different experience. His hand on her cheek drifted across her skin, stroking absent-mindedly, finding it easier to send calming thoughts when they were both already calm (so he realised that maybe it wasn't necessary, but it was all he knew).

He was vaguely trying to keep track of Clair's heart-beat, but it was difficult when the sound of it just made him think of the delicious blood than was so satisfying, yet not filling that hole, swallowing it down, drinking hungrily.

Murphy did just manage to pay attention to Jeanne's small throat clear, knowing what she was implying and he was relieved that Clair's sudden burst of song covered his groan of disappointment, from Clair's ears at least. He shut his eyes for a moment, taking one final mouthful before he bit his tongue and smeared blood over her throat to close up the wound in her throat as Clair happily chimed out the words he'd been thinking along with his calming mantra. Despite his dismay that the feeding was over, Murphy couldn't help but smile at the sound of her voice as he cleaned up any stray drops of blood (not that there were many, he hadn't wanted any to escape). He lifted his head to watch the wounds heal, enjoying the sight of what his blood could now do.

Most of the time Murphy had been bitten on the neck, so he hadn't really been able to see the skin knit together so tidily, so quickly. It was efficient, perfect. He ran a finger over her healed wound briefly, before helping releasing his grasp on her and giving Clair a hand up.

Their goodbyes were over quickly, Murphy was so grateful that the whole experience had been so much better, he wanted to follow her, to make sure someone looked after her properly, but he knew donors here would be, which was reassuring. He'd stood to walk her towards the door, but then as soon as it closed behind her Murphy moved back to his seat, overcome with relief at the whole situation.

When Jeanne joined him Murphy let his body rest against hers as the matress sank, urging them together. He knew he could have drunk more, but for now the urge was lessened, the voice screaming at him to feed had quietened to a gentle whisper. It would return, but for now he was feeling more peaceful than he had since he'd got that text.

"That was one hundred percent better than last time," Murphy said with a grin at her question, turning to meet her gaze happily. "She was a good choice, it was so much more... relaxed. I guess I'm going to have to stop the singing though, not very inconspicious," he said, letting himself laugh at the memory of it. He couldn't help but imagine feeding from someone on the street and havig them burst into song like that. Murphy's hand covered Jeanne's and he gave her a pleased squeeze.

"Thanks again. For everything tonight," Murphy enthused, twisting his body and shifting away from Jeanne a little, so that he could lift his knee on to the bed between them, facing her more directly whilst still maintaining that physical contact. His smile faltered for a second as her beautiful blue eyes remindered him of Jake's, which sometimes showed those blue hints. He wished he knew what Charon had said to Jake, what Jake had replied. If he didn't come back to the White Rabbit soon, would he come looking for him? Had Charon told him he was here? Longing for that closeness Murphy suddenly found himself reaching out for Lazarus again and he flinched mentally as he realised what he was doing.

"Any tips for next time?" he asked, trying to push thoughts of Jake and Lazarus aside to focus on Jeanne and what he needed to learn. He was sure there were things he'd done wrong, that he needed to work on... knowing when enough was enough for example. He knew his smile had faded and he tried to bring it back, to focus on how good that had felt, how much better it had been, how happy Clair had been. She had been delieghted and he'd done that.

[Existentially Odd]

"The singing was just a manifestation of your skill to dominate. It was the easiest way I could think to explain it, and to get you to tap into it without any formal training, under pressure. Music has the power to take over thoughts in ways like no other; simply and consistently," she smiled mysteriously.

"Next time, we can try you understanding the theory and applying that, rather than going by instinct. It may feel counterintuitive but you are also very young and not supposed to be able to do it yet. At all. You also need to understand that your body will not die without blood, your cognitive abilities will just be affected. The two containers of blood I gave you were sufficient to counteract the exertion with Andy and last you until tomorrow night; Clair was merely for comfort and practice. You must learn to curb your desire. It will assist you in stopping the drinking earlier, also."

She smiled as she delivered the chastisement, hoping to soften the blow of criticising him. She was confident that he understood she'd be honest with him at all times - and hoped that he'd cope with her frankness.

[pinkroses]

Her instruction was welcome, it had been requested after all, and Murphy nodded as she explained. He was excited to learn how to do it properly, but also pleased that he had this fall back option. Her mentioning that he shouldn't be able to do it at all reminded him of what Charon had said earlier, about them being able to communicate mentally with ease - he shouldn't be able to do that either, but he could. Thanks to his sire.

He gave a smile in return, taking her words as a lesson that needed to be taught, not a reprimand. He knew he had a lot to learn, to make sure he could keep people safe when he was alone, but Jeanne and Charon seemed to have faith in him which boosted his spirits.

It was all a lot though and so sudden. Nothing like the preparation he thought he'd have before turning and Murphy suddenly felt exhausted as the night caught up with him and he thought through all of her instructions. It was do difficult to remember it all when actually feeding, when the main thought was to just get as much blood as possible. He lifted a hand to run over his face and through his hair as he nodded.

"Ok, I'll try that next time. It worked well though, when it was needed, and I liked her singing. I hope she's ok," the young vampire said, glancing in the direction Clair had disappeared with a wistful smile. "There's so much to learn and remember," he added, mulling it over himself more than expecting a response from Jeanne.

"I need to shower before bed, I'm exhausted," Murphy said, turning back to Jeanne, giving her hand a gentle squeeze. He half wanted to ask her to stay - it seemed like a long time until the following night and spending it alone felt... scary. But he tried to remind himself that he would be dead to the world for the daylight hours. He didn't want to be alone but Jeanne wasn't the person he wanted here.

But who was?

Jake was going to hate him for smelling like Lazarus.
Ben had supported him through other things, but would no doubt be filled with guilt.
They would both make it all about them. And it was due to them, but it was Murphy it had happened to.
Lazarus? Fuck no. but also... kind of. That was fucking confusing.

Murphy walked Jeanne to the door as she gracefully took her leave, realising he needed space and something she couldn't provide. He wondered whether she would be the right fit for a trainer - she obviously knew already everything that had happened and her tutorage so far had done the job. But he didn't know her very well, they might not blend so well after all. It wasn't a decision he needed to make right now, but something to think on.

Once he was alone it was tempting to just crawl into bed, but Murphy pushed himself to get into the shower, humming the song Clair had belted out quietly to himself as the hot water pounded down on him, stinging his skin with heat and turning it pink as Clair's blood rushed to his skin. As soon as the water had hit him Murphy knew to shower first was the right choice. The pain from his injuries was gone, but he was aware of where they had been, mainly from blood stains on his skin which he scrubbed off thoroughly. Every bit of him got a thorough clean and ones he was out Murphy stared at himself in the mirror again, wiping away the steam. He looked more like himself, but those eyes - God, they were something. He debated shaving, but once the stubble was gone it was gone, so Murphy left it (since he usually kept a bit and it made him feel more like himself).

After drying off Murphy tumbled into bed naked, enjoying the new feel of the soft cloth on his skin in a way he'd not experienced before. His mind wandered over the events of the day, but before he could linger on them for too long, the sun came close enough to the horizon that his new condition forced sleep upon him, despite the age of his blood.